NEW YORK, NY – JANUARY 11: (EDITORS NOTE: This image was created by in-camera multiple exposure.) Henrik Lundqvist #30 of the New York Rangers skates in warm-ups prior to the game against the Boston Bruins at Madison Square Garden on January 11, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
NHLBy Dave Lozo on

Expansion is coming, maybe. Probably. Eventually. So are the playoffs. Is this it for Henrik Lundqvist? Can the Sharks win a round? All that and a massive Ant-Man spoiler at the end of this week’s mailbag!

1. Expanding universe

When the NHL added the Lightning and the Senators for the 1992-93 season, draft order was determined by a coin flip during the 1992 Stanley Cup Final. Tampa won the toss and took Roman Hamrlik while Ottawa grabbed Alexei Yashin. If it’s only Vegas that joins the league, they will pick first before their inaugural season.

If Las Vegas and Quebec join the league at the same time, the league would probably do something similar to the 1992 coin toss. However, I’d like to offer a few suggestions to make the process more interesting than flipping a coin.

1. Double Dare: We pit Vegas and Quebec ownership against each other in a battle of wits and physical prowess. The head-to-head trivia portion will decide who picks first while the obstacle course decides if the winning franchise gets to host the All-Star Game the following season.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_7f3FlJw0c

Vegas owner Bill Foley fishing around inside an oversized, booger-filled nose for a flag while the crowd counts down from 5 is the type of drama you can’t find on TV these days.

 

2. The Bachelor: We flip it around. Whoever is the consensus top pick in that year’s draft will allow himself to be courted by both Vegas and Quebec on a two-hour episode. Instead of flirting in a hot tub, which would be weird, each team’s owner would shower the teenager with gifts, which is still weird but to a lesser degree.

At the end, the 18-year-old will hand a rose to the team he wants to spend the rest of his best years with. Unlike a true marriage, he will become trapped in an inescapable and potentially loveless situation for about eight years, depending on how the next CBA shakes out.

 

3. Cage fight: Three five-minute rounds between owners. If there is no tap out or knockout, it will be scored by three judges — Doc Emrick, Jeremy Roenick and Pierre McGuire, who will also broadcast the rumble.

Jeremy: “To win a fight, you have to fight to win and only when you win the fight do you win the fight.”

Pierre: “Doc, that Bill Foley learned to fight in Moose Jaw, Manitoba under the tutelage of the great Jacques Headlock at Moose Jaw Fight Academy.”

Doc: “Hit his nose with a shot!”

Not sure why the NHL hasn’t made me commissioner yet.

 

2. Hank’s for the memories

If he retired today, he would get my nonexistent Hall of Fame vote. Since 2006-07, he’s third in save percentage, first in wins, second in goals-against average and first in handsomeness. In the playoffs over that time, he’s second in save percentage and goals-against average and first in wins. He has been to three conference finals since 2012 and one Stanley Cup Final. He’s had his chances.

http://gty.im/513264262

 

There’s no reason to feel sorry for him. Yeah, he’s sort of going to waste behind a pretty mediocre Rangers team this season but all it’s doing is shining a light on how great he is. With the window closing on the Rangers, it wouldn’t be surprising if Lundqvist asked for a trade. Not like, today or tomorrow or after the season but at some point before his contract expires in 2021.

That’s not bold, to say a player may request a trade in the next five years but the Rangers appear headed for dark times and he won’t want an ending like the one the Sedins seem primed to experience in Vancouver. Lundqvist loves New York but if he sees them falling off a cliff in the coming years, don’t be surprised if he leaves. He’s 34 years old. He may have to go to the route of Dominik Hasek if he wants to win a Cup.  

 

3. Shark attack

Maybe? David Perron is out for the Ducks and if he misses that series, it’s a big blow. I’m just not a believer in the Sharks. I know I should be, as their underlying numbers are very good, and it’s not as though Frederik Andersen or John Gibson provides a huge edge over Martin Jones, but here I am.

http://gty.im/513167836

We’re not talking about a 15 beating a 2 in the NCAA Tournament but I’d consider the Sharks beating Anaheim or Los Angeles the third-biggest first-round upset possible behind Colorado or Minnesota beating whomever they play and the Capitals losing. This is probably my preseason feeling that the Sharks wouldn’t be this good causing these feelings but I wouldn’t pick them to beat the Ducks.

 

4. Waive, trade, sign

I’d waive Rinaldo, because why would I sign him in the first place and who would trade for him? Imagine how bad you’d have to be at your job to think Rinaldo was worth, I don’t know, a third-round draft pick.

I’d trade Girardi because I don’t want him on my team and someone probably thinks he carries value as a shot-blocking defenseman.

I’d sign Cooke because he’s a free agent now and I assume he’d be signing a one-day deal so he could retire as a member of my cool and awesome team.

 

5. I’m all about chemistry

https://twitter.com/jordan_dix/status/711960011501490176

I believe in chemistry, but not like, chemistry. People hear chemistry and think it means players have psychic abilities to know what the other guy is thinking or where that players will be on the ice.

“I want a winger that can finish my-“

“Sandwiches!”

“No, passes. For goals.”

“Oh.”

I think that intuition stuff applies to the Sedins, who are twins that have played together since they were kids, but otherwise, while it’s a thing to an extent, it can be overblown.

It’s about finding players with complementary skills. I think Chris Kunitz complements Sidney Crosby. I think Alex Burrows complemented the Sedins for a long time. The Heatley-Spezza-Alfredsson line was the rare trio of highly skilled players that worked really well together. The hardest thing for a coach is figuring out how to match three guys the right way and do it four times in one lineup.

http://gty.im/514747406

Ideally, you want someone that handles the puck and sees the ice well, someone that can find open spaces with a great shot and someone with great speed that acts as a puck retriever. No team has four of each so you do the best you can to piece together a lineup. By the time you get to lines three and four, you just want six guys who can keep the puck out of their own zone for 45 seconds. It’s harder than it sounds.

That’s why Henrik Sedin (sees the ice), Daniel Sedin (the finisher) and Burrows (the retriever) were the gold standard. The one line today that has that potential is Evgeni Malkin (sees the ice, can also finish), Phil Kessel (the finisher) and Carl Hagelin (the retriever) with the Penguins, but Malkin is out the rest of the regular season.

Of course, there are a limited number of those types of players, which is why it’s so rare you can put a line like that together.

 

6. I have never seen Ant-Man, nor do I have any desire to. When Ant-Man fights the bad guys, does he climb into their butt holes and punch out their insides?

Joseph

Yes.

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