Love is in the air for a former K-State Wildcat Linebacker… although you wouldn't know if it you just watched the show as somehow ABC has forgotten to mention how this year's "hunk" got that figure the ladies are all drooling over…. Shame on them for not touting the awesomeness of college football.
However, there's like 19 hot ass ladies swooning over our college football star, Sean, so at least we can get over that with some eye candy, lady drama, and of course some down right bitchiness!!!
Bring on Week 2 of The Bachelor ladies and gents….
8:02 ET: Really, ABC, we get it… The dude is ripped. How'd he get that way in the 1st place? How about you mention that and just move on with life. We don't need to show the guy shirtless in the first minute or two of every episode do we? If so just tell us now so we can fast forward through that crap.
8:03 ET: Date card No. 1 arrives and it is a…. (drum roll sound effect), a one-on-one date with Sarah. Let the jealousy commence bitches. This date will just let the ladies stop tiptoeing around the one armed Sarah, who honestly seems like the coolest chick ever, no matter the circumstances.
8:13 ET: Cue the Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers as it's Sean & Sarah free, ya FREE FALLIN – yep from the roof of one of LA's downtown skyscrapers they're going to free fall as part one of the date – again repelling, free falling, whatever it is this is a staple date on the show, so yippie skippy.
8:23 ET: Sean is Sarah's knight in shining armor… setting the scene for the show's 1st big make out session? Or Sean declaring his manhood… either way, ya know.
8:25 ET: Date card No.2 for the week. I'll bet money it's a massive group date – and DING, DING, DING, we have a winner and we have more pissed off girls. Tierra chief amongst them – this girl's gonna be crazy this season.
8:27 ET: Sarah has Sean on the hook – he's got the butterflies in his tummy y'all. Oh, and we've got our first make out session…. Oh, ewwww, dude you should've taken Ari's advice… errr, I mean what the hell… Ahh, awkward moment… anyway, moving along.
8:33 ET: Group date = photo shoot = Sean making out and macking on ladies because he can & wants to. Oh, and apparently there will be three romantic novel covers from the shoot – so your wives, gf's, or whatever will get to enjoy the fruits of this date.
8:37 ET: Perhaps we should turn this thing into a drinking game or something? Maybe, just maybe it's the only way to get through this show – So starting now… Drink anytime Sean kisses one of the girls, drink anytime Sean is without a shirt/unbuttoned front of his shirt. Rule No. 666 of The Bachelor handbook says be the first one to kiss the dude and you'll score points with him and watch the other ladies squirm all at once – great television commence.
8:40 ET: Ya buddy… My Wisco girl is taking charge and making things a little steamy, just like they should be for a romance novel shoot, right? Ladies, help a man out, no? Alright – self high five for the Wisconsin lady in the comepititi… err on the show. Hey, at least she won the 3 book cover contract and possibly a rose to stick around another week.
8:46 ET: Sean ain't playin y'all. He's straight no chaser with the ladies tonight – oh and Rule No. 3 for the CBR The Bachelor Drinking Game – anytime a lady utters the word Rose – take a drink (good luck making it through the show).
8:47 ET: hahaha, Sean ain't the mack daddy ABC makes him out to be as he goes all sorts of 8th grade "should I go in for the kiss or not" and makes for awesomely awkward TV. Come on man, you're making college football players everywhere cringe – you're supposed to be super studs, remember?
8:51 ET: Kacie clears the air w/ Sean and at least the man isn't stupid – the girl is smoking hot and super nice… at least that's how TV made her seem last time. Perhaps these two should've been on an episode of MTV's Friendzone? Just sayin..
8:58 ET: Tierra is already in jealous bitch mode… Just like we've thought all along she's gonna be the pot stirrer this season and I'm sure the producers will love having her wrap Sean around her finger & be two-faced with the ladies in the house at the same time. Welcome to Dramatown, Pop. Tierra.
8:59 ET: Date Card No. 3 arrives – Desiree gets a one-on-one on Jacki's birthday – What were you thinking Sean… Way to be chivalrous and all, JERK!
9:02 ET: Oh, CBR's The Bachelor Drinking Game Rule No. 4 – anytime a woman says the words "going home" drink. Rule No. 5 – if that woman actually leaves on her own slam your drink. Coincidentally we have that as Katie leaves the show saying she's the "odd duck" of the group.
9:04 ET: Kacie is out of the "Friends Zone" and now she's got a Rose… Drink folks!! Hey, just seeing if you're still paying attention. Of course Tierra wants to punch a bitch because that rose was hers. Rawr… claws coming out much?
9:10 ET: Sean's gonna prank Desiree, Million dollar art destroying style… Let the fun commence. Count her as one of the early season favorites. Perhaps 5/1 odds to win the whole thing? Any takers out there?
9:15 ET: and down goes the $1.5 million painting as Desiree's still in shock & can't do anything but laugh/shock face… Guys, let this be a lesson – always prank the girl on your 1st date – it's bound to go swimmingly… Or NOT! She took it well, perhaps we move those odds up to 3/1 on her winning this thing?
9:23 ET: Awww, their parents sound similar or something like that…. Yep, those 3/1 odds, perhaps they need to be changed to 3/2, but we'll handicap them a bit later in the show, back to the sappy crap I guess.
9:28 ET: We all just sat through an amazing interview… I mean, date between Sean and Desiree and of course she got the rose and they had to make out in the pool and such. We've got our early clubhouse favorite I have a feeling.
9:31 ET: Let the rose ceremony pre-party begin, so this will be interesting to say the least. All the ladies w/o dates this week are bound to go crazy, so let it begin.
9:35 ET: Lindsay went from drunken mess to deep and soulful from episode one to tonight – amazing what an impression you can make when you're both hot and then not wasted and can actually hold a conversation the next time – shoot her up the odds makers lists if you ask me.
9:37 ET: and we have the line of the night: "I literally feel like tonight is a tornado of negativity waiting to happen." Thanks a lot Amanda for being a cold and strange woman who won't interact with the other ladies in the house. Of course men are stupid and he'll probably see something he wants in her and keep her around for some strange reason. IDIOT!!
9:43 ET: Wow… we have our first race topic coming from Robyn – but I thought we lived in a post racial world? Love knows no race for Sean though if you look at the ladies he kept around after week one, so I'm going to chalk up this awkward moment on the show to her being paranoid for no reason.
9:46 ET: Amanda puts on her other personality & is all smiles for Sean. Awww, man, if only there was a way for him to see this on his own in real time… Oh wait? VH1 probably has that on standby or has already tried it, right? Anyway time for the rose ceremony – Drink up again!!
Roses: Amanda, AshLee, Catherine, Daniella, Desiree, Jackie, Kacie, Kristy, Lesley M, Leslie H, Lindsay, Robyn, Sarah, Selma,Taryn, Tierra
Gone: Brooke, Diana, and Katie (left on her own at group date)
CBR's Oddsmakers Favorites:
1. Desiree: 3/2
2. Tierra: 3/1
3. Sarah: 5/1
4. Kacie: 10/1
5. Lindsay: 20/1
Next Week: Sean & Lesley M go at it on camera…. Tierra goes crazy & apparently the ladies try to sabotage her – according to her warped sense of reality. Oh and Sean goes shirtless again – shocking I know!!