Olive Garden

Olive Garden is an interesting place. It rakes in cash, yet the food isn’t that great (or even really good!). Then again, people who go to Olive Garden shouldn’t be expecting food straight from Rome.

Anyway, the Times Square Olive Garden location is probably one of the busier Olive Gardens (though the concept of going to an Olive Garden when you’re in New York City is ludicrous). How do I know this? Oh I don’t, but I am assuming seeing as it’s massive and in, you know, Times Square, New York City.

Now imagine being the General Manager at such a big Olive Garden, with tourists from all over the globe streaming in and out of the restaurant. One Twitter user got an inside look at what it’s like after he went on a date with the former GM of the place and quizzed him about his experiences.

You’re damn right there’s a thread! Here is all of it in its glory.

Imagine that conversation?

Waiter: Hi, we are out of breadsticks!

Customer: No.

Waiter: I’m sor-

Customer: No.

Waiter: There’s nothing I can do. We are out of bre-

Customer: No.

Waiter: Here’s a coupon for 50% off pas-

Customer: OLIVE GARDEN DOESN’T DO THAT!

Two hours. Who on Earth would wait *two hours* for Olive Garden when better Italian places are all over the city?

Also, wait. THREE FLOORS!?

Americans would do that. I want to do that. Who’s joining me?

THERE WAS A KNIFE FIGHT?! How do we not have video of this? DOES ANYBODY HAVE VIDEO OF THIS?

It’s a shame they didn’t have breadsticks to fight with instead of knives. Then again, the fight could’ve continued with knives if they were friends with Rafi from The League.

End of story. What a beautiful ending. What a beautiful story.

Hopefully, they won’t be celebrating with a $400 (apiece) New Year’s Eve dinner at…the Times Square Olive Garden.

DID THEY ACTUALLY GET MARRIED? Probably not, assuming the date was apparently last night.

Joe Wadlington hasn’t responded to his last tweet, except to point out his thread made Twitter Moments.

Here’s the thing: if they did get married, that means they got married after their first date. That really is love at first sight/breadstick/knife fight.

[Twitter]

About David Lauterbach

David is a writer for The Comeback. He enjoyed two Men's Basketball Final Four trips for Syracuse before graduating in 2016. If The Office or Game of Thrones is on TV, David will be watching.