The following piece is a perfect example of why we, the people of Earth, can’t have nice things. It’s also a perfect example of why people despise millennials.

The location? The Oklahoma City Zoo. The person of interest? A 16-year-old boy visiting the zoo from Newcastle High School. The dare? Jump in a zebra cage. The reasoning? A girl’s number.

The end result? Two startled Zebras according to NewsOK, a ticket, and maybe a number.

The events occurred at 1:20 pm local time on Tuesday and zoo officials said it lasted “only minutes.” After the 16-year-old landed in the enclosure, he startled the mom “Sassy” and her child “Zuberi.”

None of the three were injured and the boy involved has been questioned by Oklahoma City police. This is exactly what our police should be doing. Questioning people for jumping in zebra exhibits.

The boy received a ticket for trespassing, but no word yet on if the zebras are filing charges.

“The safety and security of both our guests and animals is our priority,” Oklahoma City Zoo Deputy Director Barry Downer said. “Our animal habitats are designed both to keep animals in and to keep the public out, so situations such as this do not occur. The young man put himself in a serious situation, which endangered himself, our animals and staff.”

The police report also stated the boy ran 30 yards into the exhibit before he was removed. He did this of course after a girl told him she would give him her number if he did it.

Some people would say “oh the things people do for love,” but come on. If this was for love he’d jump in a much more dangerous exhibit like the lions or tigers. And no, I’m not condoning that he go do that either.

But come on, this is silly. Is that really the best “dare” this girl has for him? If a girl said that to me I would’ve laughed. I also would’ve said to her “if putting my life in danger and potentially going to jail or getting kicked out of school is what I have to do to get your number, then goodbye.”

I’ve already written at length about how much I hate the term millennial. So naturally, this is a perfect example of why I hate the term. Because of people like this guy. The 16-year-old doofus.

I’m not the only person at The Comeback who is annoyed by this kid either:

About David Lauterbach

David is a writer for The Comeback. He enjoyed two Men's Basketball Final Four trips for Syracuse before graduating in 2016. If The Office or Game of Thrones is on TV, David will be watching.