boxers

In our time, the world is dominated by cell phones, tablets, smart watches and the like that emit radiation from radio waves as well as WiFi. As much as some of us would like to disconnect for a bit, that is now almost impossible. And at some point, we’ve all left our cell phones, tablets, laptops, etc. on our laps because that’s an easy place to put them. But men: did you know that this radiation has harmful health effects that could do permanent damage to your fertility and can cause cancer as well? Often, when the damage caused by radiation is permanent, men and their partners turn to different fertility treatments in order to be able to start a family.

If you’re worried, the people at SPARTAN (capitalization necessary) have you covered, as they have introduced a pair of boxers that protects your crotch from that harmful radiation so you can be lazy and leave your cell phone in your pocket all day or surf the web on your lap. And the best part: of their $5,283 goal (5,000 Euros), they’ve already raised about $18,000.

How does this magic underwear work? The underwear uses a high tech fabric with pure silver fibers in the cotton as they say which acts as a Faraday Cage (protects from electromagnetic waves) on your junk. When it was tested at the French Waves Institute (a real place), it was found to block 99% of cell phone and WiFi radiation. And the underwear also doesn’t crush your crotch under the weight of a full iron vest! It’s a win-win!

You can buy your special underwear in black and blue colors right now (isn’t that something), and if the fundraising campaign reaches $35,000, you can buy the SPARTAN wear in grey too. But this 21st century solution to a really 21st century problem that also keeps your junk smelling fresh doesn’t come cheap: it’s $43 for a single pair, and you’re not getting them until they ship out in June.

I understand the fears about decreased fertility and cancer, especially as I write this story with a smoldering laptop over my crotch, but $43 for one pair of underwear? As SPARTAN says in their blurb: “we want to keep using technology without changing any of our habits”. I do too, but without spending $43 on boxers.

But on the list of dumb crowdfunding campaigns, somehow this comes in at fairly low at that list.

[Kickstarter]

About Matt Lichtenstadter

Recent Maryland graduate. I've written for many sites including World Soccer Talk, GianlucaDiMarzio.com, Testudo Times, Yahoo's Puck Daddy Blog and more. Houndstooth is still cool, at least to me. Follow me @MattsMusings1 on Twitter, e-mail me about life and potential jobs at matthewaaron9 at Yahoo dot com.