LaVar Ball isn’t going to be a top-five pick in the upcoming NBA Draft. LaVar Ball will never play a second in an NBA game. LaVar Ball is annoying.
But for some reason, we live in a world where LaVar Ball has an autograph deal for trading cards. Thanks, 2017. You’re really doing great things for us.
According to ESPN’s Darren Rovell, the deal is pretty minimal. Ball signed 200 cards with his name and face on them along with some of his famously terrible quotes. They were signed for Leaf Trading Cards and will be sold on eBay on Wednesday.
“This wasn’t all about the money,” said Ball. “I think it’s cool to have a card.”
The cards will be sold at a fixed price of $59.95, according to Leaf CEO Brian Gray.
Some of the phrases on the various cards include:
“If you can’t afford the ZO2’s, you’re not a big baller.”
“Magic is not allowed to my workouts!”
“Stick to the donuts, Chuck!”
“Lonzo better than Steph Curry!”
“I am better than Jordan!”
Here are quotes that were never said by Ball, but should be on the cards instead:
“I am really annoying!” “I am causing people to despise my son!” “I may be the reason why Lonzo doesn’t get drafted by the Lakers!” “I should stop talking!”
When will LaVar do what he tells others to do and just shut up?
I'd pay $60 to never hear from him again.
— david (@davidhuey) June 14, 2017
Is this report from the @TheOnion ????
— CC (@Aloha711) June 14, 2017
That's embarrassing for Leaf!
— Diana (@8soup) June 14, 2017
My 7 month old daughter has better hand writing than him.
— Jed Keel (@keel_jed) June 14, 2017
That last one is just savage.