Dion Waiters NEW YORK, NY – JANUARY 25: Dion Waiters #11 of the Miami Heat celebrates his shot as Trevor Booker #35 of the Brooklyn Nets defends in the fourth quarter at the Barclays Center on January 25, 2017 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City.The Miami Heat defeated the Brooklyn Nets 109-106. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

No matter what they do, the New York Knicks will be bad next season. And given Carmelo Anthony’s uncertain future, Kristaps Porzingis’ tumultuous offseason and the team’s current lack of a team president, they will probably be dysfunctional as well.

The only question for general manager Steve Mills (or whoever gets hired to serve above him) is how the Knicks will be bad and dysfunctional. And for the sake of everyone involved, we desperately hope the answer involves Dion Waiters.

Waiters, coming off a career year in Miami (45 percent shooting!), is a free agent, and reports are that the Knicks are among the front-runners for his services.

Waiters in a Knicks uniform would be too perfect. Waiters loves the spotlight, and the Knicks have plenty of spotlight. Waiters is the league’s top “irrational confidence” scorer, and the Knicks are the league’s top “irrational confidence” franchise. Waiters thrives in chaos, and the Knicks exist in a constant state of chaos.

For a while there, around the time Isiah Thomas was calling the shots, the Knicks’ failures were characterized by scoring guards hoisting low-percentage fadeaways. From 2005-07 the Knicks had Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford and Steve Francis all competing for shots. In 2007-08, Nate Robinson showed up. Larry Hughes and Tracy McGrady stopped by a little later. The most exciting thing to happen to the Knicks in 20 years involved shoot-first point guard Jeremy Lin going on a scoring rampage. Good times, right?

If Waiters signs with the Knicks, you know he’ll have a six-game stretch in which he averages 26 points a game and hits a buzzer-beater, and you know New York will flip out and treat him like some sort of messiah. The tabloid back pages will be great. Someone will coin the term Waitersanity.

Sure, the Knicks will then go back to losing, and Waiters will probably wear out his welcome, but it will all have been worth it. With Phil Jackson gone, the Knicks need to turn up the dial on disarray and discord. It’s time to get Dion Waiters to New York, ASAP.

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.