As we reach the middle of August, it’s back to school time for plenty of college kids across the country. (Well, other kids too, but this post is going to focus more on college kids, because of reasons that will quickly become apparent.)
In Lawrence, Kansas, home of Kansas University, the local police department has a history of quality Twitter, including the time they dunked on the Kansas basketball team earlier this year. The Lawrence PD has been running a series of helpful tips on Twitter, as students get ready to come back and do college things. Today’s featured a helpful series on a very important topic: public urination.
Continuing our back to school series – Helpful tip #4 – Outside downtown is not your personal urinal. It's disgusting, and so are you.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 14, 2017
When we pull up, and you’re facing the corner of the doorway with your hands by your crotch, we know exactly what you are doing over there.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 14, 2017
Don’t turn around and pretend the wet spot on the wall is from the rain that only happened in a three square foot area between your legs.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 14, 2017
If you’re too lazy to hit the bathroom before you walk out of the bar, maybe you should start wearing diapers. Or you know, find a bathroom.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 14, 2017
There haven’t been 400 years of indoor plumbing advancements for you to write your name on the ground in the alley.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 14, 2017
Those are all very important life lessons! Ones that plenty of people would do well to learn, although if everyone avoided it, we would have missed out on one of the great SportsCenter bloopers of all time:
But don’t stop there! The rest of the series has also focused on some very important topics, containing, frankly, some of the best life advice you can get online. These threads are all worth exploring:
Free preview!- Selling weed out of your apartment may seem like an easy way to make some quick $$$. But you will get robbed. At gunpoint.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 11, 2017
Chad shows up with some new people you don't know. That's cool, always down to make new friends. Now fast forward an hour.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 11, 2017
The liquid courage may have you thinking it’s necessary to defend the legacy of the family name against the guy in the care bears shirt.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) August 11, 2017
That’s real knowledge there. Thank you, Lawrence Police Department. Or at least the person in charge of their Twitter feed. They’re heroes.
