At the end of the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl parade on Thursday, offensive lineman Jason Kelce took himself to the podium and unleashed a speech that will go down in the annals of Philadelphia sports history, right next to Chase Utley’s “WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS” shout in 2008.

Over the course of five minutes, Kelce threw a legendary amount of shade at former coach Chip Kelly, talked up most of his teammates, emphasized the importance of breakfast, ripped on media members, and managed to hold off on swearing for about three minutes or so before the emotion of the situation became too overwhelming.

The next time a player gives a speech at a parade, please don’t compliment it unless it is *this* incredible. I’m ready to run through a brick wall.

About Joe Lucia

I'm the managing editor of Awful Announcing and the news editor of The Comeback. I also made The Outside Corner a thing for six seasons.