What is it about hockey that makes it so loaded with sexual innuendo? If you haven’t checked out the #HockeyPorn hashtag on Twitter (it’s safe for work unless you’re offended by lots of plays on words), you’ll see it’s loaded with references from broadcasters, coaches and even players which transform hockey commentary into something a bit dirtier.

Kevin Shattenkirk’s recent comments were probably the least subtle of any innuendo heard this season. In fact, it was downright blunt and really bizarre.

When discussing the Washington Capitals’ play against the Toronto Maple Leafs’ speed, Shattenkirk thinks his team is being a bit too horny. Or something.

Did Shattenkirk lose some sort of bet where he had to try and work “horny” into an interview as organically as possible? If so, he did a decent job, but his answer was still really awkward.

Phrasing aside, Shattenkirk’s assessment is right on the money. The Capitals are rushing when it comes to both their zone entries and their passing and they’re getting burned by a quicker Toronto team. Instead of trying to force things, the Capitals need to take a moment, assess their options and then form a plan of attack. They can’t match Toronto’s speed, so they’ll have to be a bit more tactful moving forward.

That, or maybe the Capitals are just gripping their sticks a bit too tightly.

About David Rogers

Editor for The Comeback and Contributing Editor for Awful Announcing. Lover of hockey, soccer and all things pop culture.