There’s nothing like a mid-July NHL Mailbag to help you pass the time until the World Cup in September. Well, there’s probably a lot of things better than that, like a cold drink, a swimming pool, the smell of meat on a grill, the laughter of a child as he or she first looks upon … OK, there are lots of things better than a hockey mailbag in mid-July. But that’s all I have. So let’s get into it, shall we?
1. Why isn’t Kris Russell signed yet? Have NHL teams gotten wise to that fact he’s not good?
John
It’s crazy, right? The Dallas Stars traded a (conditional) first-round pick to get this guy at the deadline and now he can’t find a home at a price he likes. He has a profile a lot of bad NHL teams love more than a pale guy loves shade. He’s only 29, logs a lot of minutes and has a reputation for blocking a ton of shots, a thing teams think is great despite the fact it signals he’s spending a lot of time in his own zone as the other team launches shots toward the goaltender.
This is a lot like Cody Franson last summer. Most websites had him listed as either the best or second-best defenseman available in free agency, yet he had to settle for a two-year, $6.65 million contract with the Buffalo Sabres on Sept. 10. And Franson is younger and better than Russell, who was arguably the third-best defenseman available.
Russell isn’t a puck mover or point producer, so teams that are putting an emphasis on analytics won’t have any interest in… wait, what?
Panthers are showing interest in FA D Kris Russell acc to source #FlaPanthers
— Harvey F. (@hfialkov) July 11, 2016
The Panthers have trading away players with negative possession numbers and added players with positive possession numbers all summer, and they reportedly have interest in this guy? This has to be a situation where Russell’s agent, perhaps realizing he screwed up and overestimated his client’s value, is attempting to drum up interest with a rumor, because Florida might literally be the last team you’d think Russell would go to.
In the end, it does show how the league is shifting away from guys like Russell. Five years ago, he would have gotten a five-year, $25 million contract with a no-move clause on July 1. Now he’s probably considering a lucrative deal in the KHL. The NHL is still a dim-witted league overall, but at least some teams are taking baby steps forward.
2. New team
What should be the name the Montreal Canadiens AHL team in Laval ?
— Max_Habs (@Max_Habs) July 11, 2016
The Amps.
3. Connor McHottie
@davelozo is Connor McDavid at least a 6
— queen of bad trades (@emptynetting) July 11, 2016
He’s a 6. Maybe a 9. It all depends on the day. He’s somewhere in the 6-9 range.
4. When you said the Canucks are a “sinking ship in Vancouver” in your June 14 Comeback article did you mean like the Titanic or Lusitania? And is it still the case after the Eriksson signing and dodging the Lucic iceberg/torpedo?
Juan
Picture the Titanic. It hit the iceberg like two years ago and is taking on water. It’s time to evacuate but the captain demands the ship continue to proceed across the ocean despite everything telling him the ship isn’t getting across safely. No one on his crew has the guts to tell him they must abandon ship and call for help. People are drowning on the lower decks, but a jerk with British accent says, “Don’t worry! It’s all steerage!”
Erik Gudbranson is the equivalent of an extra piano in the ballroom. It’s sliding all over the place and destroying all the tables and fine china. It’s not helping in any way, but it’s causing major damage through vicious contact and the captain thinks that’s great.
Loui Eriksson is the Heart of the Ocean. Beautiful. A wonderful accessory to place around the neck of a beautiful woman. But in the end, it’s all going to end up at the bottom of the Pacific while Jim Benning stands in the wheelhouse as the waters break through and drown everyone. All the best in 2016-17, Juan.
5. Help Me
@davelozo What do we do when the kid Harambe kidnapped grows up, joins Twitter, and has the best Harambe song out of anyone?
— Kelly Twomey (@KellyTwomey) July 11, 2016
@davelozo if Harambe were still here (RIP) which Pokemon Go team would he choose?
— remington (@remington7s) July 11, 2016
@davelozo What starter Pokemon would Gary Bettman choose?
— Jon P. (@lobbyboy) July 11, 2016
@davelozo what is the best Pokemon and why?
— James Stumper Jr. (@JamesStumper) July 11, 2016
I don’t have an answer to any of this. I just want to give the readers of this fine website an idea of the following I’ve cultivated on social media. It’s a joy and nightmare all at once.
6. I think teams should be able to retain cap and salary at a different rate. A team like Carolina should be able to trade a player with a $5 million cap hit, retain $3.5 million in cap, which they can afford anyway, but retain only $1 million in actual salary. For a team like Montreal, that makes a lot of sense since they don’t care about the extra actual dollars but do care about $2.5 million in cap.
It’s like the rich teams buy the cap space off the poor teams that need to get to the floor anyway. Helps facilitate trades.
What do you think?
Dov
Absolutely not. This dumbass league already allows teams like Arizona to dedicate like 12 percent of their salary cap to retired players and all this would do is allow teams that don’t want to spend actual dollars to be competitive to spend less and vice versa for big market teams. Teams like Toronto would spend $120 million with a $70 million cap. No way.
I mean, it’s good thinking. It’s a good idea that I don’t like.
7. Chest’s out
https://twitter.com/soIaces/status/752622188981780481
I’d have to pick to the Sabres jersey. I don’t live in a year-round warm climate. I occasionally go to things like movies and sporting events and they have these Puritanical rules about covering your nipples on the premises. I’m not saying I agree with it, but I’d like to see a ballgame or Marvel movie now and again.
There are certain scenarios where going shirtless or Sabres jersey is a lose-lose, like a funeral. No grieving widow wants a hug from a dude dressed like he’s going to Hooters on a Thursday night, nor does she want a guy with the body of Neo when he first wakes up inside the pod in the Matrix touching her with his bare chest.
But whether it’s a funeral, court hearing or job interview, I can always tuck the Sabres jersey under a suit.
If this was all just a ploy to get me to post a shirtless photo, sorry, but you’ll have to come up with something better next time. Like six dollars. Maybe nine.
