This is a question that should just probably never be asked when it comes to movie sequels, but did we really need another xXx film with Vin Diesel returning to his role as Xander Cage, extreme sports athlete turned international spy?
Do you even remember the first xXx, which came out in 2002? Hollywood was trying to come up with a viable James Bond alternative, since that character and franchise was looking outdated and stale. (More importantly, studios presumably wanted a property they could control, preferably with an American spy as the hero.)
The premise mentioned above is as ridiculous as it sounds. The NSA needs a new kind of operative to buddy up with a group of rogue Russian mercenaries, deciding that an extreme sports athlete and reality TV host is just the guy to carry out this mission. That probably seemed like a fresh idea in 2002, one that could make Vin Diesel a global action star. Diesel liked it so much that he didn’t even star in the sequel, letting Ice Cube take the lead role instead.
Diesel has apparently had a change of heart 14 years later. Or he was offered a hefty payday by Paramount Pictures. Or he really, really wants to establish a bankable role for himself outside of the Fast and Furious franchise. Whatever the reason, he is back as Xander Cage. So is Samuel L. Jackson as Augustus Gibbons, the NSA Agent who thought recruiting Cage was a good idea in the first place.
Check out the teaser trailer for xXx: Return of Xander Cage:
As Jackson says at the beginning of the teaser, “The world has changed.” He probably doesn’t mean that cultural tastes have progressed beyond accepting an extreme sports athlete as an international spy. But just in case you needed some confirmation, there’s Diesel skiing through the jungle, skidding along trees and doing spinning jumps through the air. Maybe this is how Warner Brothers should have revamped Tarzan.
If that’s not enough for you, how about Xander Cage skateboarding down twisting roads on the European countryside? Let’s see James Bond and Jason Bourne do that stuff.
But of course that’s not enough. So how about Vin Diesel riding a motorcycle on waves, something that only a very special extreme sports athlete can do? Actually, why even pay attention to reality? Cage rides that motorcycle underwater too. Not even the Fast and Furious movies would do something that ridiculous, would they? Or would they?
This movie might just have to be seen for its sheer absurdity. Here’s hoping that it’s so bad that it’s good, something we can all watch with friends, adult beverages and, perhaps, illicit substances to fully enjoy on Netflix someday.
We don’t have to worry about xXx: Return of Xander Cage until next year. The movie is scheduled for a Jan. 17, 2017 release.
