This is what there is to write about when a lockout drags on as long as the current one has. A Toronto Maple Leafs fan, presumably one who misses spending tremendous amounts of money on watching his team finish outside the playoffs on an annual basis, just purchased a toilet for $5300. "What kind of toilet must this be?" you're probably wondering. Is it a magical toilet that transports you to a Narnia-like place where the Leafs have won the Cup since 1967? Does it have a bidet?
Nope. It's the old team toilet from Maple Leaf Gardens. The fan purchased it when, no lie, the team's 1967 banner became too expensive. Honestly, what better consolation prize could you ask for!
"They thought I had money to burn, and surely there was something that I could have better spent my money on," he said.
Yes, your friends were probably right that there was something better you could have spent your money on. Like a child's college fund. Or a down payment on a new car. Or tickets to the Leafs when the NHL starts up again. Or charity. Or ANYTHING ELSE.
Your friends are wise, sir. Listen to them.