Welcome once again to This Week in NHL Stupid, where we track the ugly, the silly, and the just plain stupid in the NHL. Now a hockey game is a great way to indoctrinate your children into the beauty of hockey. And if your child is hungry, NHL arenas all over North America offer the best in food and drink to keep your child happy and healthy.
Suffice to say, if you bring your children to an NHL game and they’re licking the glass, then they’re not getting enough stimulation from the food choices or from the product on the ice. And seeing that these poor kids are Colorado Avalanche fans, then yeah. They’re not getting enough stimulation from the product on the ice.
But can their parental units at least be aware of this and stop these children from eating straight disease? At least cotton candy takes some years to kill you, and it tastes much better than microbes that are hiding in glass. Yuck.
In other stupid news, we go to the ECHL for the seminal moment in a person’s athletic career: the number retirement ceremony.
Did they think Colin Chaulk wore 16?
And then they raised the banner as it was! You mean to tell me that we could have a 30 minute delay for a piece of glass, but you can’t have two guys run on the ice to make sure a franchise player’s number doesn’t go up to the rafters upside down? Stupid.
And here’s an update on previous stupid: Remember when the NHL mandated that goalies wear smaller pants in the middle of the season with no time for adjustment? Well, the goalies for the Montreal Canadiens apparently have the bruises to prove that this was a bad idea, and Al Montoya and Carey Price were discussing sending pictures of the bruises that this new rule caused.
Price got pegged on the inside of his thigh, where he showed there is zero protection. Not much on the outside, either.
— Eric Engels (@EricEngels) February 20, 2017
More proof that mid-season rules changes are pretty stupid.
That’s all for this week. May all your center ice shots be stopped by your goalie.