Chelsea just received permission to tear down Stamford Bridge and build a massive new stadium, according to this report from the BBC.

Stamford Bridge appears fairly modern, having been renovated in the ’90s, but it’s actually quite old, having been around since the late 19th-century. But progress and the promise of massive revenue increases stop for no man, so here we are, with the local authorities granting permission to tear down the old stadium in favor of something new:

Chelsea Football Club have been given permission by the local council to build a new £500m 60,000-seat stadium. Hammersmith and Fulham council’s planning committee have backed plans to demolish the current 41,600-capacity Stamford Bridge stadium. The plans include a walkway from the nearby District Line station.

“We are grateful that planning permission was granted for the redevelopment of our historic home,” Chelsea said in a statement.

“The committee decision does not mean that work can begin on site. This is just the latest step, although a significant one, that we have to take before we can commence work, including obtaining various other permissions.”

London Mayor Sadiq Khan will have the final say on whether Chelsea can build their new stadium.

So, how will the new stadium look? Presumably, they wanted a tasteful design to blend into their London surroundings, so let’s take a look at a few pictures:

via Chelsea FC

Oh, no. No.

via Chelsea FC

So. That’s…not very appealing?

Here, now, a list of things Chelsea’s new Stamford Bridge resembles:

1. Typewriter

2. Inside of a piano

3. The Pokemon Starmie

4. An actual bridge

5. That coin donation thing at the mall where you put coins in and they spin around

6. Random-ass coffee table decoration from Pier 1

7. Volcano crater

8. Something Jerry Jones would like

9. A bunch of floppy disks

10. An artist’s depiction of the ongoing societal triumph of money over taste

1093: A soccer stadium

It’s going to be at least three years or so before Chelsea are in their new home, at which point they’ll be hated for yet another valid reason.


About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a writer and editor for The Comeback, and a contributor at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer.