Observations about the online dating world are fodder for sitcoms, stand-up comedians, and too many online think pieces to track properly. The last thing we need is another one of those.

Here, now, is a think piece about a new online dating concept.

That concept is Hater, which is attempting to bring people together via the power of mutual dislike. It launched February 8th on iOS devices, so you may have heard of it already. It’s an interesting hook, and obviously the sort of tweak needed to stand out from services with existing user bases.

Those sites and apps are either the barest of bones (hi, Tinder!) or based around various algorithms designed to offer a list of people with shared interests or feelings. That’s generally accomplished via a list of questions, and a site like OKCupid has a system where you can kind of be pushed towards a match if you both express a negative thought toward a question.

But OKCupid aims for a much more positive outlook. (Because if you’re a woman getting asked if you’re “dtf” multiple times a day, it’s apparently easier to process when surrounded by blues, pinks, and anthropomorphic stars.)

Hater is not that. Instead, it purports to stress what you don’t like about various topics or questions. That might sound like a very bitter worldview to some people, but founder Brendan Alper told Business Insider that there’s a bit of science behind it.

Alper is referring to this study from 2006, written up in 2011 in New York:

Bosson’s first paper on the phenomenon, which she co-­authored in 2006, argued that people readily connect when they have a third entity to jointly demean.

Everyone, after all, can say kind things. And everyone does. This is how we supposedly make friends: by being nice. But by going negative—thereby breaking a general rule of first impressions—you signal that you instinctively trust this new person, because you suspect he or she might feel the same way.

Hater looks to tap into that by offering various prompts, on a wide array of subjects, like this one:

Hater
Via Matt Clapp

The topics include anything from sports to pop culture to daily life. (They could also function as a hot take topic generator, too.) You swipe various directions to indicate your opinion:

Hater
Hater/Business Insider

It feels a bit like an attempt to tap into both the spirit and the audience of Cards Against Humanity. This isn’t the worst approach, and it stands to reason that flipping the script for matchmaking could turn up a different set of compatible prospects.

This list is curated through (you guessed it) an algorithm, that does indeed take into account things you’ve liked or loved, as well. Hater has likely just weighted their variables differently, and packaged itself in a fashion guaranteed to grab headlines and inspire posts just like this one! (You got us!)

Finding that kind of delineating feature is the next frontier in online dating. Hater flipped the “like/dislike” script. Another company is targeting a different market inefficiency.

The League (not the show) is an online dating service that markets itself as an exclusive, invite-only place to meet other people inside a virtual velvet rope. It’s been around longer, but has a lower profile, because if you’re currently outside of NYC, San Francisco, Chicago, Boston, LA, or Washington D.C., you’re out of luck for now.

You must apply, offering up your Facebook and LinkedIn accounts for both a vague background check and as a way to screen out all your Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections in order to avoid any of your friends or workplace associates/bosses perusing your profile.

One woman described her first month using the service for Thrillist, and it sounds equal parts interesting and elitist. On the interesting side, users can be kicked out for the kind of boorish behavior you often get on other sites or apps. Other bootable offenses include failure to respond to messages or  log in frequently. That’s appealing!

Less appealing, though: The League’s tagline on the iTunes App Store is “Equalist. Not Elitist.” Within the pool of users that might be somewhat true. For example, if you have a post-graduate degree and want a partner with a similar educational background, more power to you.

But when you consider that not anyone can join, that slogan takes on a bit of a different meaning. If you don’t have a LinkedIn profile, you’re asked to pay $179.99 up for an annual membership, which sure feels like a base-level income screening.

The League
Photo via my phone

It becomes tougher still when you consider stories like this one from last February. The League’s CEO took to Facebook to blast a Stanford student who dared bring up the e-word:

“Is it possible that Stanford admissions have gone down?” Bradford wrote on Facebook, taking the student to task for a “jumbled and imprecise” argument.

The student (who uses a pseudonym on Facebook and preferred to remain anonymous) likely wasn’t planning to apply to the internship.

But Bradford makes sure of it: “Thanks for responding to our community manager internship. Unfortunately, based on the intellectual rigor you demonstrated in your work above, you wouldn’t meet our criteria, but please tell your friends we’re hiring!”

It somehow got worse:

The League seemed to be proud of Bradford’s response, which it sent to users over the weekend. (The app has a “concierge,” who answers questions and occasionally sends updates.)

“So, turns out our founder got into a pretty epic Facebook battle,” wrote the concierge. “I personally think it is pretty funny and you guys might want to see … enjoy us being us.”

(Can Hater offer The League’s CEO as a hate option?)

That doesn’t mean there aren’t great people to meet via the service. And if you’re someone looking to meet people online, having more options is never a bad thing. Niche apps like Hater and The League have a bit of filtering built in. If you’re the kind of person who would enjoy either service and want to meet someone similar to you, that’s one shared data point already.

If I were choosing between these two services, I’d definitely lean towards Hater. There really is something to the ability to mutually hate on a certain subject, whether it’s a TV show, politician (cough), or professional team.

Of course, there are some people who are so relentlessly positive they would look down on this method of relationship-building.

I really hate those people.

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.

1 thought on “Hater is a dating app that matches you with people who hate the same things you do

  1. It’s seems that there’s always a new app coming out with the purpose of try to match people together but nobody seems satisfied. Why not meeting people with no expectation at first and discover who they are by interacting with them? Fortunately, there is also an app for that. It’s called KAZZANOVA

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