Welcome to Tuesday, the worst day of the week. In the abstract sense, anyway, as definitively ranked in this very space last year. Today might not be the worst day of your specific week.
In fact, I hope it’s not! To that end, you’re starting it off in the right spot.
Here’s The Cheat Sheet.
Durant returns, helps propel Warriors to sweep
Ha, so, as you might expect, the Warriors with Kevin Durant are a very good team. Last night proved that once again, though it doesn’t take a real basketball genius to figure that one out.
The Warriors proved it again last night, as a returning Durant helped Golden State blitz Portland 45-22 in the first quarter, putting the game away early. Were there a many made threes in that opening frame? Reader, were there ever:
Did somebody say ?? #SPLASH ??? Dubs tied a franchise record with 8 3-pointers in the first quarter. pic.twitter.com/PQt1TPMzW9
— GoldenStateWarriors (@warriors) April 25, 2017
The Blazers did have a few highlights of their own, mostly through the attempted-but-ultimately-doomed heroics of Dame Lillard. Here he is embarrassing Draymond Green, if that’s your thing (and it should be your thing):
a good play ⛸ pic.twitter.com/3nd8KARVOa
— Portland Trail Blazers (@trailblazers) April 25, 2017
Lillard ended up with 34, but it wasn’t nearly enough, as the Warriors were paced by Steph Curry’s 37 en route to a win and a sweep. Golden State now gets the winner of the Jazz/Clippers series, while Portland gets to continue being a really cool city with some good young players. (Feels like they’ve been that for a long time now, huh?)
Elsewhere in the NBA playoffs…
Elsewhere in the NBA playoffs
The Hawks beat the Wizards 111-101 behind incredibly balanced scoring; seven Hawks reached double figures, led by Paul Millsap’s 19. Conversely, Bradley Beal and John Wall combined for 55 of Washington’s 101; they’re going to need more help. That series is tied, 2-2.
In the other Eastern Conference series in action last night, the Raptors beat the Bucks 118-93 to take a 3-2 series lead. I’m sure there were things that happened in the game, but that series may as well be taking place on the moon. (If it were, Giannis could probably pull off the climactic Space Jam dunk.)
Dodgers gift Giants the game thanks to horrendous baserunning
Just watch this play, and know that it’s how the game ended:
Don’t fall asleep on @BusterPosey… pic.twitter.com/BIMruW1OyK
— SFGiants (@SFGiants) April 25, 2017
That’s, uh, not good. Also from this game, Puig fired a laser to hose a Brandon Belt. It’s great:
Run at your own risk. pic.twitter.com/i6JjzMbjNA
— MLB (@MLB) April 25, 2017
Oh, and Sergio Romo returned to San Francisco and received a nice hand, which is cool:
The standing ovation for Sergio Romo. He had tears in his eyes: pic.twitter.com/2FdT5wkMMZ
— Alex Pavlovic (@PavlovicNBCS) April 25, 2017
Quick hits
-We had a lot of fun rounding up games that we’d want to see included in a potential SNES Classic edition, which will be impossible to buy because Nintendo. I’m glad the SNES Ken Griffey baseball game was mentioned, as well as Tecmo Super Bowl, which I’d play hours of right now, if I could.
-Jabrill Peppers reportedly failed a drug test. Not great timing, Jabrill!
-Eric Thames is just not of this world. Perhaps this helps to explain why John Lackey couldn’t imagine that he wasn’t cheating. It’s like when primitive societies encountered more advanced civilizations. (And John Lackey is nothing if not a primitive human.) Anyway Eric Thames is awesome, and how has as many homers vs. the Reds than anyone else has, total, in all of baseball. (Or he did as of yesterday.)
-Jim Harbaugh tried to throw the ol’ pigskin around in a high-end Italian mall (presumably the only kind of Italian mall) and was immediately told by security to take it outside. Security reacted more quickly to a game of catch indoors than my mom ever did, and she was always on top of that sort of thing.
-Here, watch this and feel better, trust me:
https://twitter.com/NigelBritto/status/856387961071566848
-Here’s a weird report from Cleveland’s WOIO about a potential NFL Draft prospect rumored to be suspected of sexual assault. No, they didn’t name the player. It’s borderline unethical, and somehow the weirdest part is that it’s Carl Monday, who you might remember from this (in?)famous Deadspin post.
-Here’s a weird one: Allianz is ending their sponsorship of a PGA Champions Tour event in Florida, which is being widely celebrated by Holocaust survivors, families, and other affected people due to Allianz’s history of denying claims to Holocaust victims and their families.
-Kobe sang some Moana on Fallon:
Yep, @KobeBryant just sang @DisneyMoana #FallonTonight pic.twitter.com/H63FhWIyzg
— The Tonight Show (@FallonTonight) April 25, 2017
-Joe Mixon does not deserve to be drafted, settlement or not. (He will be though.)
Fake news headline I wish was real
Carmelo Anthony Fondly Recalls Pretending To Hit Playoff Buzzer Beater In His Driveway Last Week
One last glorious moment of procrastination
A gif that needs no introduction:
