LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 30: Los Angeles Lakers Hall of Fame player and current part owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers Magic Johnson attends the game with the Dallas Mavericks at Staples Center on October 30, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. The Mavericks won 99-91. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Hey, it’s the sports dead zone. But the weather is nice where I live, so I can at least be all smug about that if you want.

Oh, you don’t want that?

Fair enough, I guess. This is the Cheat Sheet.

Lakers put Magic Johnson in charge for some reason

Let’s let this gif sum things up:

Jeannie Buss coldly shoved her own brother out the Moon Door, handing the reins to Magic Johnson, who will now be President of Basketball Operations.

Kevin Trahan on this very website wrote about how the eventual plan is likely going to involve Kobe Bryant in some capacity:

Magic Johnson has been hired as the Los Angeles Lakers’ President of Basketball Operations because, uhh, well, he used to play there?

However, we do know one of Magic’s central plans to turn the Lakers around: Get Kobe.

Get Kobe to do what? Who knows! Kobe doesn’t have any experience in an NBA front office, and he hasn’t ever indicated a particular aptitude for the job.

Magic said a week ago that Kobe can help the Lakers because he “understands winning.” That doesn’t really mean anything, and it’s unclear how having once won as a player translates into winning as part of the front office, but Magic believes it will happen … magically. It’s also unclear whether Kobe would even accept the “job.”

A reminder via Freezing Cold Takes: Magic Johnson is very bad at Twitter. Oh, and here’s another reminder from the Sports Pickle. This is the new Lakers President of Basketball Ops!

What a world.

Quick hits

Photo credit: Jonathan Olley ©2017 Lucasfilm Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

-That picture is the cast of the upcoming Han Solo movie, starring Alden Ehrenreich. After how good Rogue One was, I can be talked into anything.

-Indiana lost another close game, this time in overtime at Iowa, and their tournament hopes are all but over. Because of course.

-Tommy Tuberville could be the next governor of Alabama. Because why not?

-The president of Iceland subtweeted Donald Trump via a statement about outlawing pineapple on a pizza. Because…no, actually, I’m tired of this construction. Moving on.

Semi-related:

-Four MLB umpires are retiring, and they’re all actually guys you probably know (and therefore probably hate.)

-Here’s a wombat, because it’s #WombatWednesday. (Okay, that’s not a thing, but it absolutely should be.)

Wombat in its habitat..

-Burger King is buying Popeye’s, which is interesting. But I mostly mention it to say this: the Rodeo Cheeseburger remains the greatest fast food creation, and its demise is a travesty. Sure, you can still find a Rodeo Burger on a value menu sometimes, but there’s no cheese, and they never make it right anymore.

-A cow (well, bull, but who am I to assign gender identity to an animal) escaped in NYC and ran around a bit, brightening the Internet on a Tuesday. Because this is America in 2017, it was then caught and executed.

-Jay Cutler is reportedly on the trade block, which isn’t a surprise. I made my thoughts on the Cutler era clear:

-Ichiro remains a treasure.

-Lance Stephenson is trying to pass off Michael Jordan quotes as his own, because of course he is.

-A-Rod says he’s officially done, but will work in TV.

-Here are some balls continuously bouncing down an up escalator. It’s mesmerizing.

Balls on escalator

-This has nothing to do with anything beyond me enjoying bright, vivid colors, but remember this crayon segment from Sesame Street? Is it not the most soothing video ever? There’s a reason they kept running it throughout the years:

-DeMarcus Cousins broke down as he talked about how much he loved Sacramento.

-Here’s a giant anteater battling a jaguar:

View post on imgur.com

That really is a giant anteater. Perhaps the most descriptive of species names.

-Another big nature moment, though it’s a bit old:

-A network exec says the election and oversaturation hurt NFL ratings this season, which doesn’t sound too far from the truth, though the latter should be a bigger concern for the league than the former.

Fake news headline I wish was real

Jay Cutler Booed Mercilessly by Chicago Crowd As He Attempts to Save Puppies From a Burning Building

One last glorious moment of procrastination

Okay, this is just too good, and wraps up what has turned into a bit of a nature-themed Cheat Sheet. (#WombatWednesday)

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.