On Tuesday evening, I went out to meet my friend for dinner. He was running a bit behind, so I stopped at a bookstore to kill some time. As I looked around, I noticed there was something amiss about my fellow clientele.
There were multiple guys in suits. Women in formal dresses and heels. Everyone looked really nice. (I felt underdressed at a bookstore.)
What was happening? And then, I remembered what day it was.
Me, at a bookstore just now: "Wow, lot of people browsing here are really dressed up, I wonder why?"
Me, two seconds later: "Oh, right."
— Jay Rigdon (@jayrigdon5) February 15, 2017
Presumably they were all waiting for their reservations at the restaurant next door.
I told you that story to tell you this story: one of the women I saw was alone; nice dress, coat, heels, etc. She was browsing the teen fantasy/adventure section. (I was in fiction, right next to it, I swear.) Her phone rang, and she answered, and I heard her half of the conversation.
Woman: Yeah, I’m here. Guess which section I’m in. No, you have to guess. Ha, no. You don’t know me at all, do you?
She then told her date where she was. I bailed before the end of the call, but on my way down the main aisle, I saw the guy as he started to head over before he put his phone away. He was wearing a very casual hoodie, and what looked like Affliction jeans.
So, maybe he really didn’t know her at all? In any case, seemed like a gross miscalculation. They might not still be together.
I quickly left to meet my friend at Five Guys, and it was amazing.
Here’s Thursday’s Cheat Sheet.
Bill Walton once got Richard Jefferson suspended
Dave Pasch, Bill Walton, and Dick Vitale were all together on ESPN’s broadcast of the Cavs and Pacers Wednesday night. That shot above is representative of the broadcast, as we noted at Awful Announcing:
This screencap is everything. It basically is the entire broadcast in one image. pic.twitter.com/CTgUOUACrF
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) February 16, 2017
But the best part was this story, about how Walton accidentally got Richard Jefferson suspended while Jefferson was at Arizona:
As Andrew notes over at AA, that’s basically the story:
Yep, that’s pretty much exactly what happened. According to an Arizona Daily Wildcat piece from the time (2000), Jefferson went to San Diego that June for the high-school graduation of Luke Walton’s younger brother Chris.
Bill Walton bought NBA Finals tickets for their family gardener, but the gardener wasn’t able to make it, so he offered the tickets to Luke and Jefferson.
Despite Jefferson being friends with the Walton family since high school, the NCAA still determined that to be an impermissible violation, and Jefferson eventually wound up suspended for two games.
Ah, the NCAA. Always fighting the forces of evil.
The broadcast itself was something, as you might imagine. Walton and Vitale, together, love to talk.
Quick hits
Things are slowish on the sports calendar, but storylines are still unfolding.
-The Warriors were down at halftime, but went on a ridiculous 22-0 run in the second half to put away the Kings.
-For example, Jeffrey Loria might be the next ambassador to France! If you want a good look at all the ways Jeffrey Loria is a horrible dude, there’s this Jeff Passan piece:
As Jeffrey Loria seemingly buys the French ambassadorship, good time to revisit this column: https://t.co/0WzYy41sv6 pic.twitter.com/6bSuvWXMcE
— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) February 15, 2017
I’m also partial to this story, from a New Yorker profile a few years ago and nicely brought back last night by Jon Greenberg:
Jeffrey Loria, the future ambassador of France, will be a delight on the embassy circuit. From the @NewYorker: pic.twitter.com/i8QA3Njsva
— jon greenberg (@jon_greenberg) February 15, 2017
What a tool.
-In lighter news, here’s a hedgehog unlocking an iPhone:
https://i.imgur.com/3aHptRH.gifv
I think we all needed that.
-Speaking of something else we all need, this Manu pass. Nurse, please hook this right into the IV, thank you very much:
Look at this pass by Manu Ginobili.pic.twitter.com/hI01dxOgBq
— SLAM Magazine (@SLAMonline) February 16, 2017
-Ian reviewed The LEGO Batman Movie and I was already excited to see it and now I’m even more excited to see it.
-I’ll never get enough of security cam footage showing people saving kids from nasty falls, and props to this guy for the pose:
http://i.imgur.com/BpdQigF.gifv
Not to ruin that for you, but have you ever thought about how many videos must exist of kids tumbling to the ground from various heights? Exponentially more than the number of videos where they’re miraculously caught, that’s for sure.
Man. Now I’m bummed.
-And as I’ve killed the mood of the room, I guess I’ll move on to this Jeff Sullivan post at Fangraphs breaking down what we should expect from Felix Hernandez. Jeff is one of my favorite living baseball writers. (Do people have favorite dead baseball writers? Should I have one?)
-I laughed at this, because I’m a horrible person:
https://twitter.com/ericdharvey/status/831890793690443777
-Pete Rose still doesn’t really get the gambling thing.
-I definitely laughed at this too:
https://twitter.com/jamieeast/status/831990546675679235
-Here’s the governor of Texas talking a big game about the NFL criticizing some discriminatory Texas legislation. I’m sure that posturing will be consistent once Jerry World starts losing events.
-President Trump won’t be filling out an NCAA tournament bracket, potentially because he’d have to use one of those mini-Sharpies.
-Draymond Green thinks James Dolan has the mentality of a slave master.
-Really enjoyed this data dive into Jordan Spieth’s iron play from The 15th Club. Also, the PGA Tour is at Riviera this week, which is a great course. Ryan Moore is at 60/1 odds. Just saying.
Fake news headline I wish was real
Bartolo Colon: “I’m in the best shape of my life! Finally, a perfect sphere!”
One last glorious moment of procrastination
Am I the only one that could just stand and stare at this aquarium for hours?
