‘No Sex Allowed’ and Other Bizarre State Laws

Most of the time law is far from funny, and while most legislations involve some serious stuff there are a few legal gems in the United States that are simply hilarious. While many were enforced because of past events and circumstances, it is without a doubt that most of these laws have no place in modern America.

Florida: No Dwarf-Throwing Contests

If you, for whatever reason, own a bar or establishment that serves alcohol in the state of Florida beware! If you planned in a dwarf tossing contest you can face a fine of up to $1,000. The law was apparently put in place in 1989, when this bizarre function became something of a trend in the state’s southern counties.

Arkansas: No Free Games

If you’re playing any gaming machine in Arkansas and are on a winning streak you can’t get more than 25 free games. This applies to free games on pinball machines, free spins on slots, and you can find plenty of those here, but thankfully not for Chuck E. Cheese games. Novelty toys that break within 24 hours are somehow not deemed valuable enough to make the cut!

Virginia: No Sex Allowed

Straight out of Saudi Arabia’s legal handbook, unless you’re married, sex is completely banned in the state of Virginia. Intimate relations outside wedlock is regarded as a misdemeanor, but whether this law is regularly enforced is questionable. It looks like, despite its legal efforts, the virgin state is still clinging to some outdated moral values.

Nevada: No Shoe X-Rays!

Home to the infamous Las Vegas Strip, the state of Nevada is flexible on a lot of things unless you’re keen on X-raying your shoes with the specific purpose of measuring its size. The series of alcohol fueled events led to this legislative decision by the state court remains a mystery.

New Mexico: Idiots Can’t Vote

Back in the day being PC wasn’t as highly regarded as it is now. Per New Mexican law if you’re an ‘idiot’ then you are not eligible to vote. Of course, idiot here refers to mentally challenged in this case, but the lack of specificity makes it a law that is easily taken advantage of. Considering the results of the most recent election, whether enforced or not it seems to be working relatively well.

Alabama: No Fake Moustache in Church

If you were planning to sport a faux upper lip piece this Sunday and you live in Alabama, beware. There is a state law that prohibits fake moustaches in church if they cause laughter or gleeful disruptions during church services. If you happen to have one that isn’t funny though, you’re legally in the clear.

Did you also know that Alaskan courts can prosecute you for giving a moose a beer? Or that a pickle is not legally a pickle in Connecticut if it doesn’t bounce? Now you do. You’re welcome.

About Ben Koo

Copying and pasting my Twitter bio. I'm also refusing (for now) to write this in the third person. This is me - EIC and CEO at @comeback_sports and @AwfulAnnouncing, world's greatest chinese jew, proud Buckeye, funny dude, and sports and digital media zealot.