The Yankees and Orioles Are Engaged in Meteorological Warfare

The Yankee organization is known for being ruthlessly competitive and willing to do whatever it takes to win.  In their storied past, they’ve literally spent billions of dollars in the pursuit of a championship, hired and fired managers on whims and even resorted to under-handed tactics like hiring private investigators to dig up dirt on Dave Winfield.  Well, it seems the Yankees have learned a new trick: meteorological warfare!

Yes, that’s right, the Yankees are now using the weather to serve their sinister means.  The goal this time isn’t furthering their championship aspirations so much as sticking it to the Baltimore Orioles for having the gaul to inconvenience the mighty Yankees.  As you might recall, Joe Girardi threw a bit of a temper tantrum last month when the Orioles opted to not play a doubleheader with the Bronx Bombers before Hurricane Irene his the Atlantic seaboard.  That decision meant that the poor, deprived Yankees would have to forfeit their one of their two remaining off days this season.  Silly, Baltimore, don’t you know the Yankees need their beauty rest?

For their insolence, the Yankees are punishing the Orioles by making them play a game in the middle of the night in the rain.  And I use the present tense because the game is happening right now at 1:45 AM Eastern Time.  Basically, the Yanks decided that if Baltimore wouldn’t try and make things easier on everyone by opting for a doubleheader, neither will they.  Thus the game is being played in the wee hours of the morning with a giant puddle forming in the outfield as everyone involved gets steadily more sleep-deprived.

Seeing how the Yankee players are being put out just as much as the Oriole players, this strikes me as a case of the Bombers cutting off their nose to spite their face.  But hey, its their team and their stadium so I guess they can do what they want, even if it means subjecting their players to the kind of conditions that could very well lead to an injury all in the name of getting back at one of the worst teams in the league for daring not to kowtow to the Yankees’ scheduling wishes.

If there is any justice in the world, this game will go extra innings and a lot of them before the Yankees lose.  However, let’s all hope the Yankees don’t win because if they do, I’m a little bit worried they might invest in inventing a weather-control machine so that they can strike down the rest of their opposition.  Steinbrenners and and weather machines just seems like a perfect recipe for doomsday, if you ask me.

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the founder and Supreme Overlord of and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.