Jose Canseco is losing his mind on Twitter again

Last month, Charlie wrote a post about Jose Canseco tweeting about playing ball in 2012. Well here we are in February, and Canseco *is* playing…in the Mexican League, with the Tigres de Quintananaroo, located in the Cancun area of Mexico. Jose has been tweeting up a storm today about his time so far in the Mexican League, so let’s take a look at his Twitter feed, shall we? Try to keep in mind that Jose apparently doesn’t have a spellchecker on his Twitter feed, so that the spelling will be quite suspect at times.


Well Jose, because once baseball players age, they get slower. It’s pretty much a common thing for all athletes, aside from Julio Franco of course. And Julio Franco was ten times the hitter you are.


Probably because you’re playing in a Mexican League that’s on par with AAA, and the pitchers are throwing you meatballs in practice. This isn’t even game action, this is batting practice. Of COURSE you’ll hit balls far in batting practice.


Bat speed = ball goes farther? OK then. I think there are a lot more factors at play here, but if that’s what Jose thinks the sole factor is….OK, Jose. Those massive, steroid-infused biceps probably have a lot to do with it too. Also, what is “true batspeed”? Is there a false batspeed that is created only when you ingest massive amounts of steroids as Jose has?


It’s sweet and all that Jose’s daughter is helping inspire him, but let’s be honest here. Do you think a guy as egotistical and self-centered as Jose Canseco ever doubts himself? This is a man who truly believes he should be in spring training with a major league club right now, and that the only reason (and I mean the ONLY reason) is because of his history of whistleblowing.


He did? In the Golden Baseball League? There’s this thing called Baseball-Reference, and a quick browse tells me that in 22 games in the GBL in 2006, Canseco had a .702 OPS. Unless he’s talking about his tenure in the North American Baseball League in 2010, where in 64 games for Yuma, Canseco had a .798 OPS in 199 at bats and 46 RBI. So wait, he’s being truthful? Imagine that. The thing is, that .798 OPS was eighth among all players on Yuma with at least 100 plate appearances, including light-hitting major league veteran Joey Gathright. Having a lower OPS than Joey Gathright isn’t something to brag about. Those 46 RBI were tied for third on the team, though!


Wait wait wait, hold the phone. Did Jose really compare himself to Jesus Christ in the sense that they both have haters? This cannot be happening.


OK, this *is* happening. Jose Canseco just compared himself to Jesus Christ. And what’s this logic of Jesus being a snitch? What exactly did he snitch on? Christian beliefs say that Jesus spread a faith…it’s not as if he exposed some sort of vast conspiarcy within the government.


That’s totally it, a prison mentality. Genius, Jose.

And he closes off the evening by turning into an emo 13 year-old girl. Maybe he should, you know, get some psychiatric help for that stuff.

At any rate, it’s always fun when Jose goes off on one of these little crusades against “the haters” and so on. The man clearly does need help though, but man….when he makes this trainwreck so public, it’s hard not to chuckle a little bit.

About Joe Lucia

I hate your favorite team. I also sort of hate most of my favorite teams.