Earlier today, Deadspin did a terrific job of breaking the MLB Facebook & Twitter hacker scandal that rocked the nation. However, we here at The Outside Corner are about to bring you some unprecedented behind-the-scenes access into the minds of the social media campaign managers of the teams that were hacked. We can neither confirm nor deny that these are real spin tactics about to be used by said teams.
Hint: They're not real.
Yankees hacked Facebook: “We regret to inform our fans that Derek Jeter will miss the rest of the 2012 season with sexual reassignment Surgery. He promises to be back stronger than ever in 2012 as Minnie Mantlez”
Yankees’ spin: Yankee fans, please disregard the previous message and subsequent reports about Derek Jeter’s sex change. Derek is still very much a man and will proudly continue the tradition of sending his nightly conquests home with a gift basket of Jeter memorabilia.
Cubs hacked Twitter: “Fuck Bill Murray.”
Cubs spin: You know you want to.
Giants hacked Twitter: “Wow, the Chick-fil-A guy sure is an asshole.”
Giants spin: The Giants would like to apologize for the language that was used by the hackers that accessed our Twitter account. But seriously, that Chick-fil-A guy is a real douche.
White Sox hacked Facebook: “Everyone knows President Obama is a die hard ChiSox Fan, Unfortunately, we’re voting for Romney. #MuslimPresident”
White Sox spin: The White Sox’ Facebook account was hacked and an inappropriate post was made. We assume that Ozzie Guillen was the culprit — that potty-mouth bastard!
Marlins hacked Facebook: Just a reminder tonight is FREE PITBULL NIGHT at Marlins Park. The first 10,000 fans ages 18 and under will receive a free rescued fighting Pitbull courtesy of Dade County Animal Hospital.
Marlins spin: Just kidding. No way you guys are coming out to the game anyway after the shit we just pulled!
Padres hacked Facebook: “Just a note: though the handicapped are allowed to enjoy Padres games at Petco Park their attendance is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED.”
Padres spin: We would take more time to respond to today’s hacker post, but the swells off of PB are legit right now! Later Brosef!
Nationals hacked Facebook: “We’re going back to Montreal. SEE YA SUCKERS!!!!!!”
Nationals spin: Nous revenir au Canada, sauf pour le fait que nous avions en train de revenir à paniquer au Canada! Aimez-vous DC!