Dan Lanning Oregon Sep 24, 2022; Pullman, Washington, USA; Oregon Ducks head coach Dan Lanning watches the video board against the Washington State Cougars in the second half at Gesa Field at Martin Stadium. Ducks won 44-41. Mandatory Credit: James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

Dan Lanning won’t be leaving the University of Oregon. Although the Alabama job opened up following Nick Saban’s retirement, Lanning opted to stay in Eugene and will remain the head coach of the Ducks football team.

Not surprisingly, a wave of positive vibes flows throughout the Oregon fanbase on Thursday. This is not a unique situation for the Ducks, as their last two coaches – Mario Cristobal and Willie Taggart – were grabbed after short tenures by Miami (FL) and Florida State.

Oregon fans can breathe easy, though. Lanning isn’t going anywhere. In a video that doubled as an affirmation and a recruiting pitch, the Ducks coach made it clear: “If you’re scared your coach is leaving, come play for us. The Ducks aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not leaving.”

But while all this is true, last night was wonky. A local Eugene television station reported that Lanning was in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Obviously, that news signaled the suggestion that Lanning was about to cross the finish line and become the Crimson Tide’s next coach.

But as it turns out, he wasn’t in Alabama after all. No, instead, he was at his house. What was he doing, you ask? Just the usual of enjoying a casual Wednesday night with a Jason Bourne movie on.

There’s only one question left to ask, though: Which Bourne movie was it? The Bourne Identity? Bourne Supremacy? The Bourne Ultimatum? The people want to know.

[Matt Zenitz]

About Chris Novak

Chris Novak has been talking and writing about sports ever since he can remember. Previously, Novak wrote for and managed sites in the SB Nation network for nearly a decade from 2013-2022