It’s almost impossible to describe the vastness of space in Wyoming. If you’ve been there for any length of time, it’s obvious; there are huge stretches of land without any people.
Okay maybe it’s not that hard to describe. But, adequate description or not, the point is that if something goes wrong, even if you’re on your own property, it could be very hard for people to find you right away.
That’s what happened to Wyoming rancher Frank Reynolds (yes, Always Sunny fans, it’s spelled exactly the same), who ended up pinned under his own ATV after trying to retrieve a cow and her calf. With no way to call for help (aside from pressing the horn on the ATV, which he did until the battery died, which is just an absurdly depressing scenario to contemplate), Reynolds managed to survive in that position for two days awaiting his eventual and fortunate rescue.
But it’s how he survived that really makes it: Reynolds wasn’t exactly prepared for an extended stay in the wild, but he did have a little water and, perhaps most crucially, some Keystone Light.
Via the Associated Press:
“It was scary as hell is what it was,” Reynolds said Wednesday from a hospital room.
Family thought Reynolds had gone camping or was with friends, said Quentin Reynolds, the Campbell County undersheriff and Frank’s brother.
Later Monday, they began to worry. Eventually, they learned Frank Reynolds had planned to do some work on the property, where he was laying with a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs.
A search began. Reynolds, meanwhile, honked the ATV’s horn so much he wore down the battery — to no avail.
He was able to ration a couple of bottles of water and Keystone Light beers from a cooler, Sheriff Scott Matheny said.
Obviously this is at least a little amusing, in the absurd sense, thanks to the life saving power of light beer. But for Reynolds it was literally life or death; there’s a picture here from his hospital bed demonstrating the extent of his injuries. It’s miraculous he was found in time, and thankfully we can just enjoy the image of a pack of Keystone Light and laugh about how it’s a good thing he brought a beer that’s already very close to water.
