The popular trading card game Cards Against Humanity (CAH) is looking for a CEO. If you’re Barack Obama, I’ve got good news about your chances at landing the gig. If not, you might want to look elsewhere.

In a Craigslist advertisement, CAH posted they were looking to hire a new CEO in the Chicago area.

“Let’s face it: we have no idea what we’re doing. This year, we wasted an enormous amount of time and energy trying to get Hillary Clinton elected President, and on Black Friday we dug a huge hole in the ground because we wanted to find out if it would be funny. It’s been a great run, but now it’s time for real adult leadership.”

Think you might be qualified? Well, let’s run through some of the requirements.

– Strong public speaking skills

Alright, I think I can fake my way to say I do.

– Steady disposition, remains cool under pressure

Hell yeah, baby!

– Experience hunting terrorist masterminds

Uh…what?

– Minimum eight years experience President of the United States of America or equivalent nation

That’s a hard no.

– Strongly prefer the first black editor of Harvard Law Review

I was the editor at my school paper, but Harvard it was not. Also, I’m so white, you might as well call me ‘Paler Moon.’

– Passed comprehensive healthcare reform

*checks resume* Ah damn, I thought I had that one.

– Natural born citizen of the United States

…Canadian.

– The ideal candidate will be excited to travel for work and be a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Well, shit.

The job sounds incredibly enticing. The qualified candidate will receive 51 percent of the company and can set their own salary. Plus, the benefits are great: health insurance, generous vacation time, and access to office pantry with unlimited almonds. My cholesterol would go down if I landed the job.

Alas, I’m painfully unqualified. A certain former president fits the bill, but I’m sure he wants to take some time off after experiencing the garbage fire that was America in 2016. One day, I hope he takes CAH up on their offer. How meta would it be to have the CEO be a topic in the card game itself?

aa3b3bbde2ca6bfb9309026cb85baecb
Picture via Pinterest

I’ll forever hold out hope the offer is accepted.

[AV Club]

About Liam McGuire

Social +Staff writer for The Comeback & Awful Announcing. Liammcguirejournalism@gmail.com