Today is Tuesday, the sun rose in the East and will set in the West, and because all is right in the world, a naked Florida man did something insane.
As those of us who follow @_FloridaMan are aware, Floridians are often naked and/or committing crimes.
Some recent greatest hits:
Florida Man Shoots Cat for Looking at Him “Like He Owned the Place” https://t.co/FicqJ6hHzu
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 1, 2017
Florida Man Struck by Lightning While Snorkeling Naked http://t.co/Gu2NMSbBw1
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) July 23, 2015
Florida Man Says He Committed $7 Billion Bank Fraud Because Jesus Wanted to Make Him Rich https://t.co/MpDSH0PmfL
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 5, 2017
Today in Florida Men, a man was arrested for stealing a $25,000 swan statue while naked, as collateral damage from stealing a Ford F-150.
Footage shows him creeping around the business using a white, 5-gallon bucket to cover his front area. Deputies say he tried several doors around the business then stole a Ford F-150 King Ranch truck, which had the large swan statute in the back.
…
The swan was discovered Friday by a fisherman around a pond near Hibiscus Parkway West. It is being processed by crime-scene investigators then will be returned to its owners.
As we’ve learned, you really shouldn’t be surprised by a naked man stealing your swan statue if you live in Florida. The question is why you would buy a $25,000 swan statue.
