It still doesn’t feel quite natural to be watching and obsessing over sports, but the games go on whether we’re ready for them to or not.
Last night there were four NBA matchups, including an emotional homecoming, plus an NFL divisional contest, a White House visit and plenty of news from around the sports world.
Welcome to the Cheat Sheet.
Dwyane Wade returns to Miami
Months after shocking the NBA by signing with his hometown Chicago Bulls, Wade was in Miami on Thursday to face the team he played with for 13 seasons.
The Heat played a tribute to Wade on the American Airlines Arena video board, and the Miami fans (rightfully) treated the guard like a returning hero. Wade did not have a particularly good game—13 points on 5-17 shooting—but that was beside the point. For that matter, so was the fact that the Bulls beat the Heat 98-95 in a game that was close from start to finish.
This is a helluva tribute video:
— Miami HEAT (@MiamiHEAT) November 11, 2016
Whew, it’s getting dusty in here.
It’s still pretty weird to see Wade in a Bulls uniform, but that’s how it goes in an era when NBA stars really like to move around.
Any final thoughts, Dwyane?
Bulls beat the Heat 98-95 in Dwyane Wade's only game in Miami this season. Wade: "I'm glad it's over."
— Rohan Nadkarni (@RohanNadkarni) November 11, 2016
The Browns are so bad
It turns out that the Browns’ futility isn’t limited to Sundays. They’re equally bad on any day ending in Y.
Cleveland’s abysmal season continued Thursday night with a 28-7 loss to the Ravens. The Browns actually led 7-6 at halftime before replacing quarterback Cody Kessler with Josh McCown for no good reason and promptly losing the second half by a score of 22-0.
Here’s a comparison of the two quarterbacks’ lines:
Kessler: 11-19, 91 yards, one touchdown
McCown: 6-13, 59 yards, two interceptions, one fumble lost
Kessler isn’t going to the Hall of Fame with those stats, but they’re at least passable. And as soon as Hue Jackson swapped him out for McCown, this happened:
Terrell Suggs golpea a Josh McCown y obliga a la intercepción de @JPowers25
Jackson might just want that decision back.
So let’s talk about the real pressing issue here: The Browns are going 0-16, right? Like, they’ve got six more chances to win a game, but isn’t it hard to imagine them actually doing that? No team they play the rest of the way is currently worse than 4-5 on the season. Those winless 2008 Detroit Lions seriously might be getting some company.
At least the Cavs and Indians did their thing this year.
The Cavs and Indians have won a combined 168 games (regular season and playoffs) since the Browns' last victory.
— Chris Burke (@ChrisBurke_SI) November 11, 2016
– The Warriors crushed the Nuggets 125-101 behind seven threes and 33 points from Steph Curry. In case you were concerned, that guy is still really good.
– Kevin Durant scored 18 points, ending his streak of scoring 20+ at 72 games. We’ll keep an eye on how the Warriors’ stars feel about scoring fewer points this season.
– Roger Goodell isn’t thrilled about the idea of President Trump.
– Nick Saban claims he didn’t know Tuesday was Election Day.
– The Cleveland Cavaliers visited the White House on Thursday, and coach Tyronn Lue talked about how proud he was to meet the first black president. But the real story of the afternoon was Iman Shumpert’s awe at seeing a lectern move.
Iman Shumpert was legit amazed that President Obama's podium was movable pic.twitter.com/IxieVZtp4F
— AP (@Ananth_Pandian) November 10, 2016
– The Cavs did the Mannequin Challenge at the White House, which is kind of fun and kind of lame. The Mannequin Challenge has maybe set the record for “meme that played itself out the quickest,” but this iteration has Michelle Obama in it, so that’s cool. You know what, how about we just end the Mannequin Challenge on a good note and retire it right here and now? Sound good?
– Noooo, Joe Flacco. Nooooooo. Please stop it.
– Some former Texas A&M football players destroyed an Ole Miss helmet with an army tank. A real tank. ‘Murica.
– In other college football news, Duke upset No. 17 North Carolina, 28-27. This video pretty much says it all:
My breakdown of the big Duke upset: pic.twitter.com/YyieFURU5u
— Dave Lackford (@RivalsDave) November 11, 2016
– Meanwhile, we’re still trying to figure out what the hell happened in this play from the Arizona State-Utah game.
– In an odd story out of Florida International University, a player is out for the season after his girlfriend threw boiling water at him.
– Vancouver Canucks goalie Ryan Miller gave us the play of the day:
Ryan Miller just made the best save I have ever seen. pic.twitter.com/O2zMcNzBGg
— Evan Petzold (@EvanPetzold) November 11, 2016
One last moment of procrastination
The fourth season of Parks and Recreation was terrifyingly prescient. We’ll leave you with this: