Ugly Christmas Sweater

If you’re like me, finding an ugly sweater for a Christmas party is easy. Just head to mom’s closet and have her give you some options.

Apparently, some don’t have it that easy. They actually have to go out to the store and pay for a sweater with a Santa the size of your head on it. While most of these are cheap and sold at places like Ragstock, certain websites allow customers to spend a ridiculous sum of money on an ugly Christmas sweater.

The company Tipsy Elves has unveiled an ugly sweater that costs $30,000. (No, that wasn’t a typo). This “world’s most expensive Christmas sweater” features a number of dazzling features that absolutely no one will notice.

Here’s the lowdown on this stupid sweater.

Tipsy Elves—the company turning ugly Christmas sweaters into a cottage industry—has teamed up with Swarovski to create a crystal-bedecked piece of yuletide absurdity that rings it at a princely sum of $30,000. The sweater, which took 52 hours to make and features 24,274 crystals, shows Santa Claus streaking across the universe on a magical unicorn. It’s just like a Bing Crosby song.

Come on, folks. This is so dumb on so many levels. To Tipsy Elves — why even waste your time doing this? I don’t mind ugly sweaters at all. I’d rather have time being spent making dozens of $5-$20 sweaters rather than this atrocity.

Then, to ANYONE who even considers buying this — get some help. Nothing like this should ever be worth your time. If you have the money to waste on something like this, I beg you to give it to someone who actually needs it. I love Christmas, but this sort of thing doesn’t make me want to deck the halls and have a holly jolly Christmas. It just makes me angry.

[Esquire]

About Ryan Williamson

Ryan is a recent graduate of the University of Missouri and has recently returned to his Minnesota roots. He previously has worked for the Columbia Missourian, KFAN radio in Minneapolis and BringMeTheNews.com. Feel free to email me at rwilliamson29 AT Gmail dot com.