PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL – MAY 10: A racoon is seen during round two of THE PLAYERS Championship at THE PLAYERS Stadium course at TPC Sawgrass on May 10, 2013 in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

When you go for a run in the woods, you generally don’t expect anything beyond some fresh air and some exercise. Depending on where you live, maybe you don’t even expect the fresh air. (And depending on how fast you run, maybe you don’t even expect the exercise.)

What you don’t expect, though, is to be attacked by a rabid raccoon, which you’re then forced to defeat in hand-to-tiny-hand combat. But that’s exactly what happened to Bangor, Maine resident Rachel Borch. (Fitting it’s Bangor, since it sounds very much like a Stephen King plot.)

From the Bangor Daily News comes this once-in-a-lifetime lede:

While jogging on a familiar, overgrown, wooded trail near her home on a recent warm afternoon, Rachel Borch thought to herself. “What a beautiful day.”

Little did she know she was about to be attacked by a rabid raccoon that she would end up killing with her bare hands.

Things progressed quickly:

In the midst of appreciating the weather and scenery, she looked ahead of her and noticed a raccoon obstructing the narrow foot path, baring its tiny teeth.

Suddenly, it began “bounding” toward her, Borch recalled Wednesday afternoon during an interview at her home on Hatchet Mountain Road in Hope.

But after it bit her and refused to let go is when things get really dark:

In a matter of seconds, Borch, who could not unhinge the raccoon’s jaw to shake it off her hand, noticed that when she had dropped her phone, it had fallen into a puddle in the path and was fully submerged.

“I didn’t think I could strangle [the raccoon] with my bare hands,” she remembers thinking, but holding it under the water might do the trick.

Connecting the dots quickly, Borch, then on her knees, dragged the still biting raccoon, which was now scratching frantically at her hand and arms, into the puddle.

Yeah, so, beyond that, things got grim for the crazy raccoon, as Rachel drowned it in the puddle. That’s pretty hardcore stuff, but then when you live in Maine, it’s generally par for the course. Borch is recovering. The raccoon is not, because it’s dead.

[BDN]

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.