Adrian Beltre is one of baseball’s national treasures. Not only is he 38 years old and still ripping the ball on his way to 3,000 career hits, but he’s one of the funniest dudes in the sport as well.
But there’s one thing you should never do to Beltre: touch his head. That’s how Orioles outfielder Adam Jones tried to congratulate Beltre after he recorded his 3,000th hit on Sunday, and he received a crotch tap in return.
Congrats, congrats… GOTCHA! pic.twitter.com/vS5t2H3O5G
— Ranting Oriole Bird (@RantingOriole) July 30, 2017
Rangers teammate Elvis Andrus once told YES Network that Beltre doesn’t even let his family touch his head when asked if Beltre ever lets him cop a feel:
“Not even his family can do it. So I don’t think that’s gonna happen. But I can get away with it every time he hits a homer. It’s always fun. You’ve gotta be ready to get out of the way or you’re gonna get a smack.”
As you can imagine, that extreme distaste for having his head touched has led to some hilarious moments over the years involving Beltre. Here are a few of the best.
June 30, 2016
Poor Robinson Chirinos. Maybe when you’re not an everyday player, it’s harder to stay up on your teammate’s dos and don’ts. Chirinos nearly ruined this home run celebration with a head pat, but by the look on his face after receiving a death stare from Beltre, I’d say he learned his lesson.
Don't mess with Beltre! #VoteBeltre https://t.co/66pIoFFoiQ
— Texas Rangers (@Rangers) June 30, 2016
May 11, 2015
Beltre connected on a two-run dinger in the fourth inning of this game against the Royals, and he wasn’t feeling Andrus’ antics from the moment he crossed home plate. The broadcasting team even worried Beltre might finally retaliate against his shortstop this time.
May 23, 2014
Miguel Cabrera must have gotten cocky after winning back-to-back MVPs, thinking that gave him the right to touch Beltre’s noggin.
Miggy got one touch in before Beltre shrugged him off. Cabrera came back for seconds and was met with the same fate as Adam Jones three years later: a cup-check.
That wasn’t the only time Cabrera tried to mess with Beltre.
July 7, 2013
Andrus tries harder some times than others. On this one, Andrus got his home-run-celebrating head pat in out on the dugout steps, but then he got greedy chasing Beltre down the dugout for more.
May 25, 2013
And now the play that really took the head touching phenomenon to the next level. Here’s Beltre chucking his glove at Andrus in retaliation during a conference on the mound.
August 21, 2010
Beltre has been avoiding head pats since his Seattle days in the mid-2000s, but his pet peeve gained more attention when teammate Victor Martinez showed absolutely no mercy during Beltre’s lone season with the Red Sox in 2010. Here’s what Beltre, after leaving for the Rangers the following year, jokingly told MLB.com’s T.R. Sullivan about Martinez:
“He wasn’t the first, but he was the one who took it to the extreme,” Beltre said.
At the time, Beltre vowed revenge. He suggested that Martinez’s injured big toe might be an inviting target.
“Sometimes I thought about killing him,” Beltre said. “But I thought about it. … I have a family so I didn’t.”
And man, did Martinez make Beltre’s life a living hell.
https://twitter.com/iamjoonlee/status/763523930804060160
And here’s one more from that season for good measure.
https://twitter.com/iamjoonlee/status/763524093215969280
