In many ways, minor league baseball remains the last bastion of the old-school carnival mentality, where the objective is to get people in the door any way you can.

That gives us our Zooperstars, our Jakes the Diamond Dog, our Bad Apple Dancers (Fort Wayne only.) And it also results in theme nights, often ripped from the headlines with a speed Law & Order would envy.

There have been a few announced already, including at least one scheduled to coincide with August’s solar eclipse in Salem, Oregon. The stadium will be inside the band in which the eclipse will be visible. A total eclipse of the park. Because of course.

But the Erie SeaWolves, the Double-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers, have a great one of their own: Alternative Facts Night, scheduled for August 25th.

Obviously a play on the White House’s less-than-strict relationship with facts and reality, the SeaWolves wrote a hell of a press release to announce the evening.

A few choice passages:

On Alternative Facts Night, the SeaWolves will celebrate facts that the team knows to be true – even if some media outlets may dispute them. The first 1,000 fans in attendance will receive a 2016 replica championship ring celebrating the SeaWolves’ 2016 Eastern League title. While it was a tough decision to decide which championship to honor, the team will celebrate its most recent one. 

The SeaWolves finished 62-79 last season, missing the Eastern League playoffs.

“Alternative Facts have become a part of popular culture in 2017,” SeaWolves Team President Greg Coleman said. “We plan to interject truthful hyperbole into all aspects of the game on this night from our giveaway to the between innings fun. It’s going to be huge.

SeaWolves fans are tremendous fans, the best fans. No one has better fans, and a complete and total sellout is expected on this night. While the capacity of UPMC Park is 6,000, 1.2 million fans are expected to attend.

The SeaWolves’ opponent on this night may dispute the team’s 2016 title run. Very unfair. It is up to the fans, who are tremendous fans by the way, to decide.

Amazing. And though this seems quite cynical, the team is raising money for a good cause:

On Alternative Facts Night, one fact that will be undeniably true is that the SeaWolves will raise funds to benefit the Partnership for Erie’s Public Schools. Proceeds from in-game fundraising efforts will be donated to the local education foundation. 

The minor leagues are important for many reasons, but their positioning as a link back to a past when all our sports were run by promoters looking to get butts in seats any way possible might be my favorite reason.

[Erie SeaWolves]

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.