No Zip Line here

Braves baseball probably won’t be very fun to watch in 2017 when the team moves into SunTrust Park, its new Cobb County ballpark, so the team has kindly provided fans with an alternative to watching the games.

According to the Atlanta Business Chronicle, the Braves plan to install a zip line in the park to (theoretically) enhance the fan experience and create a more family-friendly atmosphere and all that stuff teams (often minor league teams) try to sell you on.

The zip line will most likely be behind the video board and center field and stretch from one concourse to another, the Atlanta Business Chronicle reports.

Braves executive vice president of sales and marketing Derek Schiller hammered home the “family-friendly” aspects of the park, which presumably includes the zip line.

“We are very family friendly, and that is a significant portion of our audience,” Schiller said.

“Well over 50 percent of our fans are families that come with their child to a game,” he added.

This plan seems flawed for a few reasons.

For one, it has a distinctly minor-league feel. This is something you imagine hearing about as a publicity stunt for a struggling small-town franchise. “Did you hear the team in Bismarck put a zip line in center field?”

It’s like the Frisco Rough Riders’ lazy river – a cool idea, but something you’d never see in a major league stadium.

Plus, the logistics seem kind of hazy. People would be zip lining one by one in the middle of the game? Is that safe? Wouldn’t it be distracting to batters?

And then there’s, you know, this:

Maybe instead of a zip line at their stadium, the Braves could work on a train line to it?

A pool or a night club in the outfield is one thing, but a zip line? That’s a bit over the top.

[Atlanta Business Chronicle]

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports,, and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.