new orleans baby cakes Via @cakesbaseball on Twitter.

As of Tuesday afternoon, the Miami Marlins’ minor-league baseball team was called the New Orleans Zephyrs. That was a pretty sweet name. It started with a cool letter, and you had to Google it to find out what it meant.

But on Tuesday the Zephyrs became the latest minor-league team to outlandishly rebrand, becoming the—ugh—New Orleans Baby Cakes.

Sorry, but this is overkill. It was kind of fun when the Hartford Yard Goats announced their absurd name. It started to get ridiculous when the Binghamton Mets became the Binghamton Rumble Ponies, and now it is officially out of control.

Let’s try to figure out the reasoning behind the Baby Cakes name change.

Was it to be fun an unique? Nope, Zephyrs was already both of those things.

Was it to convey fierce competitiveness? Nope, babies are weak and unimposing, and cakes are for eating.

Was it to be more kid friendly? Nope, kids hate babies, and babies don’t even know what babies are.

Was it a nod to a local tradition? Sort of, but “King Cakes” would have worked better in terms of both honoring New Orleans and not sounding ridiculous.

Was it for attention? Yes, yes it was.

Let’s hope that the backlash the Zephyrs Team That Must Not Be Named is getting discourages future franchises from selling their souls for attention. Half an hour of people tweeting about you is not worth a full season of fans chanting, “Let’s go Baby Cakes,” then grimacing and looking down sadly.

Anyway, here is a deeply disturbing video of a baby cake that you will not be able to make it all the way through unless you’re a sociopath. Enjoy!

 

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.