If you know anything about Milwaukee’s game-day experience, it’s probably the sausage race. People dressed as various forms of ground, cased meats sprint for the entertainment of the masses. It’s Wisconsin’s gladiatorial coliseum. Bernie Brewer is Maximus.
Anyway it’s pretty good comedy.
On Sunday, they had children/tweens/teens (tough to say given the sausage costumes) join the big sausages, and while we’re going to go ahead and avoid speculating about sausage procreation (do not Google that phrase), we will point out this moment from the start of the race, when the reality of being a child inside a sausage costume literally befell this poor kid:
He (or she) just turns and runs right down the dugout steps! The team/stadium employee standing there seems shocked at first, too, like when a hardware store coworker of mine stood with his arms-crossed, not moving, while witnessing a woman take a ridiculously comical spill (she tripped on a mat and stumbled about 15 feet before finally crashing into a display and falling) and other employees rushed to her aid. (It remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, too.)
Turns out it’s tough to wear one of those things. Hopefully it turns out Randall Simon’s kid threw something we couldn’t see at the mini-Polish:
The main lesson, though? Wearing those things isn’t easy. Tim Kurkjian could have told you that.
The surprisingly good Brewers beat the Mets, 8-7.