This is probably the NBA story of the year – Cleveland Cavaliers guard JR Smith missed last night’s 108-97 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers because he was suspended by the team. What caused this suspension? It wasn’t because of showing up late to practice, or yelling at a coach, or getting into a fistfight.

No, those standard reasons for suspensions are below Smith. Instead, he was suspended for throwing soup at assistant coach Damon Smith.

Yes, this actually happened. Here’s the brief blurb from ESPN.

Cavaliers guard JR Smith earned his one-game suspension from the team Thursday by throwing a bowl of soup at assistant coach Damon Jones, multiple sources with knowledge of the incident told ESPN.

Stupid? Yep. Absurd? Uh huh. Amazing? No doubt.

Smith will practice with the Cavs on Friday, and is expected to start against the Nuggets on Saturday.

There are many questions left unanswered with this story. Why did Smith have soup to throw? Why did he throw soup, and not a utensil, plate, or bowl? What type of soup was it? What provoked Smith to throw the soup in the first place? How did his teammates react? What type of soup was it? Was it a cup of soup, or a full bowl? Did the soup come out of a can, or was it freshly made? And most importantly: WHAT TYPE OF SOUP WAS IT?

The world may never know the answer to any of these questions. But the fact that we’re even asking them is what makes the rigors of a dragging NBA season so much more entertaining.


About Joe Lucia

I hate your favorite team. I also sort of hate most of my favorite teams.