The college football season is about to get underway and you know what that means…it’s college football clickbait time!
People love uniforms. The players really love uniforms. So it’s only natural that wacky alternate uniforms make for good fodder. Last week, a series of helmet designs featuring designs with a rival’s colors on them made the rounds. This week, we needed the ante upped. In order to make it happen, we turned to…marching bands?
CollegeMarching.com asked their designer James O’Hara to “think about how a football team could show their appreciation for their band through their uniform.” And so, he created alternate versions of Power 5 college football uniforms using what their marching band wears. The results were…something.
To be fair, some of them look downright awesome. The designs don’t exactly seem street-legal (they’re missing uniform numbers on the front, there’s a lot of faux buttons going on) but some of the subdued looks, like Boston College and Purdue, would actually work quite well as legitimate alternate uniforms.
That said, some of them are insane. So insane even Oregon and Maryland might say “that’s a bit much, guys.” (Though to be fair, Oregon’s totally looks like something Oregon might wear). So insane that we almost wish we could see them for real just for the Twitter jokes.
We’ve chosen our ten “favorite” below. Gird your eyes.
10. California Bears
The only one in the lot that we actually had to figure out who it was based on eliminating all the other possible choices. Also, this looks like the football uniform for Mega-City One’s college football team, The Fightin’ Judges.
No. 9 – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
There’s just something about this guy that makes us want to chase him through a farmer’s market screaming “STOLEN VALOR! STOLEN VALOR!”
No. 8 – Stanford Cardinal
To be fair, one way to class up college football would be to put ties on the fronts of all uniforms. If that became a thing, Stanford totally seems like the ones who would try it out first.
No. 7 – Texas Longhorns
Texas probably not only think they could pull off the shoulder fringe, but they’d try to convince the rest of the Big 12 it was in their best interest to do it as well, otherwise they’re taking their fringe out west and Texas Tech is coming with them.
No. 6 – Tennessee Volunteers
A little something we like to call the Knoxville Tuxedo. Rocky up top, dark pit of blackness and misery on the bottom.
No. 5 – Kansas Jayhawks
Insert Joke About How This Looks Like a Children’s Football Uniform And Also This Is Kansas Football’s Uniform Here.
No. 4 – Texas Tech Red Raiders
The waitstaff uniform at the classiest Tex-Mex joint in town. “Have you tried Uncle Kliff’s Khili Kon Karne yet? It will have you saying ‘please God just hold Oklahoma to 45 points’ all night long.”
No. 3 – Texas A&M Aggies
There’s an alternate universe out there were Army Football legitimately wears this. They still lose to Navy every year but damn do they look good doing it.
No. 2 – Clemson Tigers
So THAT’S why most people know not to put orange and purple together. Got it.
No. 1 LSU Tigers
It’s like a 1990s Batman villain sanitized for a Saturday morning cartoon. Honestly, we’ll allow this but Les Miles has to wear it on the sidelines as well. In fact, we’re 75 percent sure he’d prefer it.
