NCAABy Jay Rigdon on

Oakland University men’s basketball coach Greg Kampe wore what may in fact be the ugliest of all the ugly Christmas sweaters. And, lest you accuse me of hyperbole, you should know that the coach knew what he was going to wear, and called his shot accordingly:

Coach Kampe did not undersell the sweater. It’s truly a monstrosity:

Here it is in motion, which is a phrase that should never really be applicable to a sweater:

That, ladies and gentlemen, is an ugly Christmas sweater. It’s also fairly disturbing imagery, when you actually think about what must have happened to put that poor adorable reindeer in such an unfortunate position. Are we supposed to picture it sawed in half, or intact but somehow melded with Kampe’s torso?

Now, obviously, being ugly is the point of the sweater. That’s a whole thing now, you’ve likely either attended or turned down invitations to an ugly sweater party. It’s possible, though very unlikely, that this very sweater might be the moment that the ugly sweater trend jumped the shark. (Or, if you prefer, cleaved the reindeer.) More likely, this sort of peripheral adornment will just be replicated going forward, until you can’t find an ugly Christmas sweater without 400 flashing LEDs, tearaway peppermint bark, and a built-in tablet playing a constant loop of Hallmark Christmas movies.

Regardless, kudos to Coach Kampe for going all-out for this event. Oakland unfortunately lost to Northeastern, 61-59, so maybe the players had a hard time focusing during timeouts with two halves of a stuffed reindeer swinging back and forth. More likely: Northeastern is playing good basketball; they did just knock off Michigan State, after all. Speaking of the Spartans, Oakland travels to East Lansing tomorrow night.

The sweater isn’t likely to make the trip, though.

[h/t For the Win]

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.

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