Toomer's Corner

Paying back anything sucks. You always tend to forget what is owed and what the services you paid for are. If you are Harvey Updyke, paying back the University of Auburn would surely be at the top of your list, right? If only it were that easy.

Updyke famously poisoned the oak trees at Toomer’s Corner back in 2010, and became a nationally known figure as a result. His status as a Alabama Crimson Tide fan only fanned the flames. On top of committing the crime, he is also notably outspoken, appearing on multiple radio shows to talk about Alabama football.

After being found guilty of the crime, Updyke was ordered to pay $796,731.98 in restitution in 2013 to help the university replace the trees and make up for lost revenue due to their removal according to A representative from the Elmore County Clerk’s office also informed that he still owes $793,852.98. That is less than a half of a percent of the total balance paid off. According to their records as well, Updyke has been paying it all back in $100 monthly increments and has missed two payments, only making the process take longer.

I am not here to disparage Updyke’s financial situation, but the idea of him paying this back in full is a farce. He is obviously going to delay payments to the school. Why would he try and get it done in a timely manner? He has no reason to, and as an older gentleman, he isn’t going to pay this off in his lifetime.

Updyke’s legend will always live on, along with his bill, at this rate.


About Sam Blazer

Sam is a self proclaimed chess prodigy. He once placed seventh in the state of Ohio in Chess when he was in kindergarten. He will rarely if ever mention though that only eight people were entered in this tournament. Contact him at