There was already a pretty high level of comedy in Hugh Freeze, the former Ole Miss head coach who resigned that job over “a pattern of personal misconduct inconsistent with the standards we expect from the leader of our football team” after a university investigation found he made at least 12 calls to escort services on his university phone, taking the head coaching job at the super-Christian, Jerry Falwell-founded Liberty University, but things got even funnier at Freeze’s introductory press conference Friday.

To start with, there was this:

“Faith, for me, is believing in the son of God, Jesus Christ. He’s the only one that can handle my junk. If you know somebody else that can do that, I’d love to meet him, but I haven’t met that person yet.”

Phrasing

Oh, but it got better from there. Let’s check out some other quotes from that press conference:

That’s what we’re calling it now, eh? Also:

Calling Freeze “a great family man” is one thing (oh, and it should be noted that that’s former Baylor AD Ian McCaw, who resigned from that job in 2016 amidst a giant sexual assault scandal and was individually named as a defendant in several lawsuits alleging he covered up sexual assault allegations). And:

Freeze declaring himself to be Christopher Columbus is also quite entertaining considering the way many now view Columbus’ legacy. And that finishing quote could also use a “phrasing.” Oh, and it should be noted that Freeze was around for plenty of NCAA violations at Ole Miss, and would have received a two-game suspension from the NCAA if he’d returned to a head coaching role before this past November. But he’s now signed a five-year contract with Liberty; we’ll see if he lasts through that. As he said, he is all about finishing.

At any rate, if this press conference is anything to go by, Freeze’s tenure at Liberty should provide plenty of comedic ammunition for college football writers. His first game with the Flames will be hosting Syracuse on Aug. 31.

About Andrew Bucholtz

Andrew Bucholtz has been covering sports media for Awful Announcing since 2012. He is also a staff writer for The Comeback. His previous work includes time at Yahoo! Sports Canada and Black Press.