The Final Four is finally here. It’s time to break down these teams. But not from a basketball standpoint. No, which is the best school and city to visit? Who can claim cultural superiority?
Here at The Comeback, we’ve done all the homework so you don’t have to. This is everything you need to know to form your own opinion about these schools.
No. 2 Villanova (33-5)
Location: Philadelphia
Coach: Jay Wright
Coach doppelgänger: George Clooney
In-state tuition: $47,616
Acceptance rate: 49%
Enrollment: 10,728
Average SAT score: 1944
Famous alums: Bradley Cooper, Howie Long, Maria Bello, Toby Keith (?!?), Jim Croce, Jill Biden, Tim Donaghy (infamous alum), etc.
Reason to celebrate: After multiple early flameouts as a top seed, Villanova has reached his second Final Four in eight years.
Greatest athletic achievement: Won the 1985 national championship by stunning Georgetown in one of the biggest upsets in sports history.
Favorite food: If you’re in Philly, you get the cheesesteak. Where you get it depends. If you’re a tourist, you visit Pat’s, Geno’s or Jim’s. But Villanova forward Darryl Reynolds recommends Ishkabibble’s.
The lowdown: Philadelphia is one of America’s most interesting cities. It’s historic and can be a lot of fun. It’s also famous for its attitude. Travelandleisure.com rated Philadelphia as the third-least friendly city in America (Detroit was No.2. New York City was No. 1).
Perhaps it’s because their sports fans are notorious hostile. Don’t take our word for it. Just listen to sports talk radio and be prepared to cringe. Of course, they have plenty to complain about. 2015 might have been the worst year in Philadelphia pro sports history (Eagles bad, Phillies bad, 76ers horrifically bad).
On the academic side, the Villanova School of Business has an excellent reputation.
No. 2 Oklahoma (29-7)
Location: Norman, Okla.
Coach: Lon Kruger
Coach doppelgänger: Will Forte (made to look older with lots of makeup)
In-state tuition: $10,090
Acceptance rate: 81.3%
Enrollment: 28,966
Average SAT: 1160
Famous alums: Olivia Munn (#swoon), James Garner, Mickey Mantle, Adrian Peterson, Arlen Specter, Shannon Lucid, Dick Armey, Blake Griffin, Ed Harris, etc.
Reason to celebrate: Get ready to party like it’s 2002. This is only the fourth Final Four appearance for a fanbase that prefers football.
Greatest athletic achievement: Depends who you talk to — as well as their age. It’s either the 1974 football national championship coached by Barry Switzer or the 2000 national championship team coached by Bob Stoops. Both went undefeated.
Favorite food: In Oklahoma, they have Oklahoma onion burgers. It’s a burger patty combined with slices of onion mixed with the meat. You cook the mixture together and the onions are caramelized and crispy. According to Tucker’s Onion Burgers, the onion burger started during the Great Depression due to “economic necessity.”
The lowdown: If you’re sick of the rat race, come on down to Norman, Oklahoma. In these challenging times, there’s a place you can go where your dollar will stretch far. Norman, Oklahoma was ranked the second-least expensive city in America.
The University is also home to the National Weather Center, so you too can live out your dream as a storm chaser.
Villanova vs. Oklahoma: Advantage: Villanova, although you can’t underestimate the Olivia Munn factor.
https://twitter.com/oliviamunn/status/713886276466806784
No. 10 Syracuse (23-13)
Coach: Jim Boeheim
Coach doppelgänger: Bernie Sanders/ Larry David
In-state tuition: $41,886
Acceptance rate: 53.2%
Enrollment: 21,789
Average SAT score: 1730
Famous alums: Jim Brown, Bob Costas, Joe Biden, Jerry Stiller (Festivus!), Aaron Sorkin, Carmelo Anthony, Lisa Lampanelli, Marv Albert (Yes!), Dick Clark, Betsey Johnson, etc.
Reason to celebrate (?): This is one of the more shocking Final Four runs in recent memory. Syracuse was lucky just to get in the tournament (these guys lost to St. Johns). Syracuse is one of the worst Final Four teams ever. Syracuse was Scandal U with a coach who sat out nine games this season due to the program’s NCAA violations. The school instituted a self-imposed postseason ban last year.
But feel free to wave the pom-poms, I guess.
Greatest athletic achievement: Winning the 2003 NCAA championship by beating Kansas thanks to Carmelo Anthony. That turned out to be coach Roy Williams’ last game at Kansas before he bolted for North Carolina (see below).
Favorite food: Who wants some Dinosaur Bar-B-Que? This Upstate New York institution was founded in Syracuse. Now they’ve got locations in five states, but this is the original.
If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you can take on the Frittata Challenge at Mother’s Cupboard. That frittata consists of six pounds of pepperoni, sausage, eggs, broccoli, onions, peppers and home fries.
Angioplasty and automated external defibrillator not included.
The lowdown: Upstate New York is filled with many fine people. However, the winters are an endless nightmare. It’s also a barren wasteland when it comes to economic growth (95 out of 100 cities, according to the Brookings Institution).
According to this story, Syracuse also has the highest rate of extreme poverty concentrated among blacks and Hispanics among the top 100 American cities. Yikes.
As for the university, you’ve got to love the journalism school. It has produced — among others — Bob Costas, Marv Albert, Ian Eagle, Steve Kroft, Lakshmi Singh, Dick Stockton, Mike Tirico, and Eli Saslow.
No. 1 North Carolina (32-6)
Coach: Roy Williams
Coach doppelgänger: Huckleberry Hound
In-state tuition: $8,880
Acceptance rate: 28%
Enrollment: 29,135
Average SAT score: 1730
Famous alums: Michael Jordan (duh), Lewis Black, James K. Polk, Lawrence Taylor, Vince Carter, Thomas Wolfe, Jack Palance (he had a football scholarship to play for the Tar Heels? who knew?), Jim Lampley, Ken Jeong, Rick Dees, Andy Griffith, etc.
Reason to celebrate: Man, it’s been forever since North Carolina went to the Final Four. You have to go back all the way to 2009. Plus, they’ve got to celebrate this now for all its worth because who knows what’s going happen when the NCAA investigation is over.
Greatest athletic moment: 1982 national championship team. Had Michael Jordan, James Worthy and Sam Perkins. ‘Nuff said. Went 32-2. How did they lose two games?
Favorite food: Never been a huge fan of Carolina barbecue, but only vegetarians say no to burned meat on the grill. I hear Allen & Son Barbeque is quite popular and good.
The lowdown: In 2013, Chapel Hill was listed No. 71 on the Top 100 Best Places to Live by Livability.com. If you include the Triangle, (Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Durham), you have even more options.
And if you like meds, this is the school for you. North Carolina’s pharmacy school is ranked No. 1 by U.S. News & World Report.
Syracuse vs. North Carolina: In a battle of scandalous schools, North Carolina is the clear winner.
Your national championship winner: Villanova.
The good people of Philadelphia have suffered enough. Winning should make them 5 percent friendlier. Plus, do you really want to see Roxanne Chalifoux, aka Crying Piccolo Girl, teary-eyed again?
