The Cleveland Browns have not won a regular season game since Christmas Eve 2016. That’s also their only regular season win since December 13th, 2015. That’s not great!
That’s the context necessary to understand why Bud Light would partner with the Browns on ten special fridges stocked with beer that will open as soon as the Browns win their next regular season game, offering free Bud Lights to any long-suffering Browns fan in the vicinity.
You’ve stood by us through it all. We love you for it, and so does @budlight.
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) August 14, 2018
Cleveland.com’s Marc Bona had many more details:
Several of about 10 Bud Light Browns ‘Victory Fridges’ approximately 8 feet tall – “they’re not small dorm sizes, they are full size,” Goeler said – will be put inside FirstEnergy Stadium. The remainder will be positioned around the city and in suburban areas, in places where patrons need to be 21 or older. The fridges will open regardless of whether the victory is at home or on the road.
Each orange and blue fridge holds upwards of 200 aluminum 16-ounce bottles. The company is being a bit coy about specific locations because Ohio law prevents pre-promotion of this type, the folks at the beer company say, but all will be in the “general Cleveland area.”
“It got more interesting as we started to talk about the smart technology,” Goeler said. “It was a cool idea to send out a wireless signal – they win, people who are lucky enough to be around can celebrate.”
It’s tempting to consider this a self-own given the Browns active partnership, but let’s be honest, there’s nothing they could do that is worse than going 1-31 over the last two seasons. That they’re leaning into it is actually almost charming, and there’s never anything wrong with free beer, even if it’s the result of a massive brand promotional scheme. (And hey, we’re writing about it, so it’s working, too.)
Now, if the fridges don’t end up opening this season? That would definitely be a self-own, and the latest in a long line of them.
The elf has had enough pic.twitter.com/Ea7HArNEpX
— Brendan Porath (@BrendanPorath) December 17, 2017
But that’s the darkest of all possible timelines, one so grim it’s not even fun to contemplate as a neutral observer.
Please win at least one game, Browns.