It’s been a year of sports firsts in 2016. The Cleveland Cavaliers won their first NBA championship, which was the first title of any sort in Cleveland since 1964. The Chicago Cubs reached their first World Series since 1945 and won their first World Series since 1908, beating a Cleveland Indians team that was looking to win its first title since 1948.
What’s next, the Lions or the Browns winning their first Super Bowl? All the Browns would probably need to do is win out their regular-season games, get some help to reach the playoffs, and then run the table on the road before winning the Super Bowl — led by Josh McCown, Terrelle Pryor Sr. and many other players who are not welcome on my fantasy team.
Hey, if any year could see that happen, it’s 2016.
In the NFL, 13 teams — seven in the AFC, six in the NFC — have never won the Super Bowl. Will one of them win a title and add to this year’s list of sports firsts? Let’s look at the teams and gauge their chances.
Atlanta Falcons
Super Bowl appearances: One, 1998.
Score of that game: Denver 34, Atlanta 19, police 1.
Notable for: Falcons safety Eugene Robinson was arrested the night before the Super Bowl in Miami for propositioning an undercover police officer for sex. As the New York Times reported at the time, Robinson was basically a poor sap who lost the lottery:
Some Atlanta Falcon players said today that they were not surprised when their teammate, Eugene Robinson, was arrested on a charge of soliciting a prostitute in a seedy section of Miami the night before Super Bowl XXXIII. After all, some of them said, other Falcons had been there several times for the same purpose.
”Guys had been going there all week,” a Falcon starter said. ”It’s just that Eugene was the only one who got caught.”
Adding to the humiliation, Robinson had accepted the Bart Starr Award earlier that day, given annually to the NFL player who best exemplifies outstanding character and leadership in the home, on the field, and in the community.”
History: The Falcons missed the playoffs in their first 12 seasons (1966-1977), have 100 fewer wins than losses in team history, and have compiled a 7-12 playoff record. They have nine players in their Ring of Honor. Eugene Robinson is not among them.
Atlanta has reached the NFC title game twice since its lone Super Bowl appearance: 2004, losing to Philadelphia; and 2012, losing to San Francisco. They started out 6-0 last year, but then collapsed and missed the playoffs for the third straight year. If they fold again this year, maybe people will stop referring to Matt Ryan as Matty Ice, which is about as apt as referring to Blair Walsh as Kid Clutch.
The Falcons left Week 9 of the NFL season with a 6-3 record, good for first place in the NFC South. With Ryan, Devonta Freeman, and Julio Jones, they have one of the best offenses in the NFL.
Odds of winning the Super Bowl this season: Better than the Falcons ever being as popular as the University of Georgia football team.
San Diego Chargers
Super Bowl appearances: One, 1994.
Score of that game: San Francisco 49, San Diego 26
Notable for: The most combined points (75) and the most total touchdowns (10). An amazing feat when you consider the Chargers’ quarterback was Stan Humphries. The team’s backup was Gale Gilbert. The team’s strength was not quarterback.
History: San Diego is a title-starved town, with no championships in baseball or basketball, and just one title in football (AFL, 1963). No one seems to mind because everyone is too busy enjoying the weather or muling drugs over the border.
The Chargers have woefully underperformed in the playoffs over the years, most notably in 2006 when they went 14-2 and then lost their playoff opener to the Patriots. They’ve won one playoff game since 2008 — over the Bengals in 2013. This year they’ve made headlines for finding new and creative ways to lose games in the fourth quarter.
Odds of winning the Super Bowl this season: Great, so long as the rules committee shortens the game to three quarters.
Philadelphia Eagles
Super Bowl appearances: Two, 1980 and 2004.
History: The Iggles are the only NFC East team to never win a Super Bowl, and you should remind any Eagles fan when you see them. It’s their tickle spot, and they will let you rub their bellies.
Philly has reached the final Sunday of the season on two occasions — after the 1980 season, when they lost to the Raiders; and after the 2004 season, when Donovan McNabb lost his lunch on the field.
Was McNabb caving under the pressure? If you go by the words of Terrell Owens, McNabb was indeed choking. Then again, if you take Owens at his word, you’re probably a bit touched.
Surprisingly, the Eagles did not reach the Super Bowl with the 2011 squad, which included free agent signees Jason Babin, Nnamdi Asomugha, Cullen Jenkins, and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Vince Young, who was also among the signees, dubbed that squad “the Dream Team,” which is ridiculous because it didn’t feature Christian Laettner.
Odds of winning the Super Bowl this season: Pretty good, as long as Doug Pedersen starts playing to win and stops playing not to lose. They’d be the first team to ever win a Super Bowl with a rookie quarterback (Carson Wentz). If they don’t win it all this year, Philly fans will want them to draft a new starting quarterback in the spring.
Buffalo Bills
Super Bowl appearances: Four, 1990-1993.
History: To be honest, I’d kind of forgotten how resilient the Bills had been in reaching four straight Super Bowls in the early 1990s. Then I watched a 30 for 30, “The Four Falls of Buffalo,” and it renewed my gratitude for not being born in western New York and raised as a fan of this team. My liver couldn’t handle it.
Of all the teams on this list, the Bills have probably done the most to kill their fans at premature ages: from Scott Norwood kicking wide right to lose the 1990 Super Bowl to the best player in team history serving 33 years for armed robbery (after, ya know, not killing his ex-wife and her friend, Ron Goldman).
In addition to setting the NFL standard for close, but not quite, the Bills are currently in the midst of the league’s longest playoff drought. Their last postseason appearance was in 1999, when they lost to the Titans after the Music City Miracle.
After San Diego, Buffalo has the second-longest championship drought among the big four North American sports; its last title came in 1965, when the Bills won the AFL championship. The Sabres have never won a Stanley Cup since entering the league in 1970. Buffalo had a basketball team, but they never won a title before moving to San Diego in 1978 — the relocation equivalent of leaving your overweight spouse who likes to wear sweaters for a young hot thing who likes to wear nothing.
If the Bills ever won the Super Bowl, the resulting earthquake would probably drop the city beneath the waves of Lake Erie.
This season: The Bills handed the Patriots their first loss of the season (albeit while Tom Brady was on sabbatical) and they were 4-5 and a half game back of the Dolphins for second place through Week 9. They have a very good running game led by Shady McCoy, a dynamic quarterback in Tyrod Taylor, and a wide receiving corps that has been so ravaged by injuries that the team recently enticed Percy Harvin out of retirement. Their head coach is Rex Ryan, who has a foot fetish and a twin brother.
Odds of winning the Super Bowl this season: The same as making it through a Bills tailgate without seeing a fan do a backflip onto a folding table.
Carolina Panthers
Super Bowl appearances: Two, 2003 and 2015.
The Panthers are redefining the so-called curse of the Super Bowl loser, which holds that the team who loses the big game will have a disappointing follow-up season, usually capped by missing the playoffs. It’s happened to numerous teams, including Carolina, who followed up their 2003 season (11-5) by going 7-9 and missing the playoffs in 2004. This year’s squad – tied for last place in the NFC South (3-5) — might be the first such team to be so bad they compete for the No. 1 pick in the draft.
Frankly, the team deserves that kind of ignominy. The team is only in its 23rd season and in that time, it’s been to two more Super Bowls than the Lions and Browns combined. The Panthers have the type of postseason record (9-7) that would make Peyton Manning blush.
They’ve had some downright terrible years — 1-15 in 2001, 2-14 in 2010 — but you know what sucking that bad can get you? A number one pick like Cam Newton, who can lead you back to the top of the mountain. Contrast that with the Bills, who’ve missed the playoffs every year since 1999 and yet have never been bad enough to land either the No. 1 pick or the No. 2 in that time. The Bills can’t even be good at being bad.
This season: The Panthers made the laughably bad decision not to retain cornerback Josh Norman, and the team’s secondary has been an E-Z toll lane all season, allowing the third-most yards per game through the air. Newton is so battered he’s been complaining to the league office about getting hit.
Odds the team wins the Super Bowl this year: The same as reading a Superman comic and hearing him whine.
Cleveland Browns
Super Bowl appearances: Nothing to see here.
History: The Browns were once the best team in football, winning seven titles in 10 years — and finishing runner-up the other three times. They treated the league like the Patriots have treated the AFC East in the last decade.
The Super Bowl era — 1966 to present — has not been as kind.
In the opening round of the 1980 playoffs, the Browns were trailing Oakland 14-12 with under a minute left. The Browns drove down to the Raiders’ 14-yard line, where a successful field goal would have put the Browns ahead. Instead, coach Sam Rutigliano called for a pass play, Red Right 88. Quarterback Brian Sipe’s pass was intercepted and the Raiders left the stadium with the Browns’ girlfriends and wives.
In the late 1980s, the team lost the AFC Championship three times in four years, with two of those losses being so bad they earned monikers: The Drive (when John Elway led the Broncos on a five minute drive to tie the game and force overtime, where the Browns lost) and The Fumble (when Earnest Byner coughed it up on the one-yard line when the Browns had the opportunity to tie Denver).
The Browns are named for former owner and coach Paul Brown, which helps explain their brown uniforms. Would their Super Bowl fortunes have been markedly different if they’d been owned by a man named Lifshitz or Johnson? We’ll probably never know.
Not only did this franchise take down its shingle and move to Baltimore in the 1990s, but they left behind the name, colors and history — while the Ravens went on to win two Super Bowls. The Browns haven’t made the playoffs since 2002 and they haven’t won a playoff game since 1994. The Browns are the gold standard for AFC ineptitude.
Odds the team wins the Super Bowl this year: Not good.
Odds the team wins the Super Bowl in the next decade: Not good.
Odds the team ever wins the Super Bowl: About the same as Rajai Davis hitting a game-tying, three-run home run off Aroldis Chapman in the World Series.
CLICK HERE FOR THE REMAINING SEVEN TEAMS
Cameron Martin writes about the Giants for NBCNewYork.com. Martin has written for The New York Times, ESPN.com, The Atlantic, CBS Sports, and other publications. Follow him @camerondmartin on Twitter or email him at cdavidmartin@yahoo.com.
