tom brady

Having torched the Jaguars in the AFC Championship despite a highly scrutinized hand injury, it seems safe to say that Tom Brady is healthy heading into the Super Bowl. But that didn’t stop one reporter from asking about a onetime injury at the quarterback’s press conference Wednesday.

At first, the inquiry sounded ridiculous: Was there ever a time you were bitten by a dog at Patriots practice?

But Brady knew exactly what the questioner was getting at, and the resulting story was pretty wild.

We were in the stadium. This was I don’t know how many years ago. There was some military training going on at our stadium. Mr. [Bob] Kraft had allowed some military members to do some training they needed to do. And I was able to witness it at night. It was during training camp. And we got a chance to go on the field after and meet a lot of the guys. We were going to take kind of a team picture. Their team, and then there were a few of us that were out there. I think it was Vince [Wilfork] and Jerod [May] and Mr. Kraft and Jonathan [Kraft].

I was walking out to the middle of the field and there’s helicopters flying and everyone’s lined up. And some guys were kind of excited to see us walk up, so I was kind of close to all the guys and didn’t realize there was dogs. And obviously those weren’t labradors, those were tough dogs. And I raised my arms up over my head, and right when I raised my arm up the dog jumped up and I guess was going for my neck. And the guy grabbed the dog back down and the dog got my thigh on the way back down. So I was standing there with a bunch of tough guys, and they all saw it. And they’re like, “Are you OK?” And I’m like, “Yeah, of course I’m OK,” but I could feel the cut. But obviously I couldn’t say anything like, “Ah man, that hurt” because I’m with like the toughest guys in the world. So I just sucked it up for an hour after we said hi to all the guys and so forth.

And then it was probably 10:30, 10:45 when I went back into my training room, and I called up Jim Whalen our trainer, and I said, “Jim, I have a problem.” And he was like, “What is it?” And I said, “I just got bit by a dog.” And he was like, “You got bit by a dog?! What are you talking about.” So I had to come over and get it taken care of. So I have a nice little scar on my quad thanks to that night.

Can you imagine if that dog had gotten Brady in the neck? “Tom Brady mauled by military dog” would have made quite a headline. So would “Tom Brady failed to seek treatment for gash to impress tough-guy soldiers.” Thankfully for everyone involved the dog was restrained and the cut was apparently not that serious, though it must have been pretty bad if it left a substantial scar.

Anyway, may this story teach us all that you do not mess around with military dogs.

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.