It’s 2020 and no matter how “Onion-y” a story can be, we’re living in a time where just about anything is believable these days. There is, however, a limit and we reached that limit when Britney Spears claimed to be the fastest person in the world by an outrageously wide margin. Either that or she truly missed her calling as the greatest track and field star ever.

Spears posted on Instagram that she reached her personal best in running 100 meters. She claimed to run a 5.97 100 meter dash but there’s just one issue. Usain Bolt’s current world record at 100 meters is 9.58 seconds. So…something’s amiss here.

The best part isn’t even the 5.97, it’s the humblebrag that she usually runs six and seven second times as if everyone does that.

Anyway, what most likely happened was that Spears was running 100 feet instead of 100 meters and got the measurements confused. 100 feet equals a little over 30 meters so running a 5.97 second run would be a bit more believable. Otherwise, if we are to believe that time, Britney would be running at about 37 mph, which is about 10 mph faster than Bolt. Measuring by 100 feet, a 5.97 second run winds up being 11.4 mph, which is achievable if she was in a hard sprint.

Nevertheless, good on Britney for setting fitness goals and improving herself. Even if that means getting the meters and feet measurements mixed up.

About Phillip Bupp

Producer/editor of the Awful Announcing Podcast and Short and to the Point. News editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. Highlight consultant for Major League Soccer as well as a freelance writer for hire. Opinions are my own but feel free to agree with them.

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @phillipbupp