Pop CultureBy Ty Schalter on

Each week at The Comeback, we review some of the top reality competition shows on television. Check out our recaps for The Bachelor and our Top Chef reviews. We even dabble a bit in Dancing With the Stars.

But here, we go swimming with the sharks. Let’s jump in!

The Shiver: Tonight’s group of Sharks: Dallas Mavericks owner and tech-sector maverick Mark Cuban in his usual stage-right chair, venture capital mogul Kevin “Mister Wonderful” O’Leary, real-estate impresariess Barbara Corcoran, QVC queen Lori Greiner and at the end of the line, infosec entrepreneur Robert Herjavec.

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The Bait: The ice cream cone for the next generation, a pair of Siegfried & Roy wannabes, a back-ass-wards jogging stroller and a sippy cup for juice boxes.

 

Company: Oliver Greenwald and Sam Nassif, “DripDrop”

Seeking: $50,000 for a 20 percent stake

Greenwald and Nassif are high school froshes who have been best friends since they were tin(-ier). The two came up with a delicious way to save their dapper threads from drippy ice cream: A cone with an edible tray around the rim.

They walk into the Tank and d’awwwwwwww, matching bowties:

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They launch into their practiced spiel, and have an impressive secret weapon.

“Don’t worry, Mister Wonderful,” Greenwald tells O’Leary and the rest of the Sharks: Their idea is already patent-protected. “We don’t have a driver’s license,” they say, but they do have a design patent — and they assure the Sharks their matted and framed patent document is “a real chick magnet!”

… Okay!

After the understandable questions about how the idea came together, how they built it out, and their early success, the Sharks finally get down to brass tacks: These kids are making the rings themselves with custom silicone molds and cooking them in toaster ovens. The “manufacturing” is wildly imperfect, and DripDrops will ultimately cost the consumer twice what plain cones cost.

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Robert Herjavec thinks they need to sell it out and scale it out, getting their design professionally perfected then licensed to big players in the space. Cuban thinks the two can go grassroots, building the demand from local ice cream shops up. But neither Shark is interested in actually pursuing their strategies; they’re both out. O’Leary’s out too, but thinks he can convince Barbara to make a deal.

“I’m not so sure about that,” she says, and we go to a not-very-dramatic-seeming DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL BREAK.

“You got a lot of things wrong with the business,” she says when we come back, and she airs her grievances.

“I love the concept,” Lori says. “I think it’s a licensing play.” Lori doesn’t want to give them the money, because she thinks they don’t need it. “Just get [the big companies] on the phone. You have the patent,” she says, so do the dirty work to sell it. Then, without a Shark involved, to them go all of the spoils. Great plan, but that still leaves them with only one potential investor.

The two turn on the schmooze factor, pleading to Barbara that her investment would prove to kids around the world that “dreams do come true.” She bites! She offers $50,000 for a 33 percent stake, contingent on the boys improving the design to her satisfaction.

Swim or Chum? “A deal with the Sharks is going to improve our school cred tremendously,” one says, and ahh, the priorities of youth. SWIM.

Should You Buy? If these cost twice as much as (dirt cheap) sugar cones, are slathered with chocolate and sprinkles, keep your hands clean and absorb sweet sludge for you to devour afterwards? DEFINITELY SHOULD BUY.

 

Company: Jarrett Parker and Raja Rahman, “Jarret & Raja Productions”

Seeking: $750,000 for a 40 percent stake

Parker and Rahman are Las Vegas magicians, except Rahman also plays the piano. Their show, “Miracles,” is just like every other Vegas magic show, except a piano also probably comes into it at some point. To wit:

There’s fire. There’s water. There’s a lovely assistant. There’s a disappearance and a reappearance. It’s well done — but as rad as a fish tank piano is, the actual magic is straightforward stuff.

“How many other magic acts are there in Las Vegas right now?” Lori asks, and the answer Rahman gives (11) is scary. Herjavec asks how they’re going to fill the room, and Rahman says it’s a marketing problem: Ads, flyers, billboards, etc. — Herjavec cuts them off.

“So you’re going to do it like everyone else,” he says. He immediately points out the problem: This is not innovative in either product or business plan, and the competition is deeply entrenched and incredibly fierce. Rahman says they want to be the next Siegfried & Roy, but “magic with tigers” was a jaw-dropping, never-before-seen spectacle 40 years ago. “Magic with a piano” today, not so much.

Barbara says there’s too much risk.

“It’s virtually impossible to make money the way you’re trying to do it,” Herjavec says. He’s out. Cuban would feel better if they already had any kind of following or brand. He’s out. O’Leary sees enormous risk, too.

Swim or Chum? They walked in with no reputation, no following, and a dream to start the 12th-best magic show in Vegas and work their way up. They walked out with nothing more. CHUM.

Should You Buy? Why wouldn’t you go see Penn & Teller? SHOULD NOT BUY.

 

Company: Will Warne, “KidRunner”

Seeking: $500,000 for 20 percent

You know those bicycle trailers you can put kids in? Warne’s brilliantly engineered device is the same thing, but for a runner. A lightweight pod is attached, by a firm-but-flexible design, to a padded waistband.

Robert, a runner himself, runs around the Tank with the small child he brought along for the demonstration rolling easily behind:

Afterwards, the tyke gets out and bashfully turns to run down the hall.

“Every time a child sees Kevin,” Robert said, “that’s the reaction we get.”

Warne has an answer for all of the Sharks’ questions about the product. As he explains, those are all the questions they’ve been asking and answering over the course of the product’s extensive development. You can see it’s come a long, long way:

Warne is cruising until the Sharks ask about sales, and he uses the phrase “go-to-market prototype.” Oh. After three years of development time and $74,000 in development investment, he hasn’t actually let anybody buy one.

“Will,” Cuban wants to know, “why has it taken you years to get 95 percent ready?” Obsessive prototyping and iteration based on feedback. He’s now got a great product and plenty of demand for it, but hasn’t been bold enough to bring the two together.

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“I think you’re the type of person who’s a careful plotter,” Barbara said, “so… I don’t think you’re the kind of entrepreneur” who can go out there and make sales happen. Herjavec and Cuban drill him about preorders, and Warne answers with his plans to launch a preorder site in about a week… and they crush him about overplanning everything. Lori agrees, but also thinks no kid wants to get dragged around for five hours while Mom finally earns the “26.2” sticker that’s already slapped on the back of the minivan.

Swim or Chum? “Something happened today that’s never happened on Shark Tank,” Herjavec said as Warne rolled out. “We all agreed with Barbara!” CHUM.

Should You Buy? All the overplanning and perfectionism paid off. It’s a gorgeous piece of engineering, and a cost-competitive product in a category all by itself. If he ever gets it to market, you definitely SHOULD BUY.

 

Company: Brenda Lee Feldman, “inchbug”

Seeking: $400,000 for a 10 percent stake

Feldman has a solution for the problem that has plagued parents who have to launder soccer uniforms after hyped-up kids go HAM over Capri Suns.

“Kids can’t help it: They have to squeeze those juice boxes and pouches!” Enter MyDrinky: a two-piece drink box holder. The kids can’t squeeze the boxes anymore — but as Barbara immediately discovers, you can still turn it upside down and pour it all over everything:

But, as Feldman proudly points out, she’s offering investment in her company, inchbug, which has not just ONE product, but TWO.

Feldman’s first product, OrbitLabels, has sold a ridiculous $15,000,000 over 10 years of online sales. They’re customizable bottle bands, similar to LiveStrong armbands. But you put them around baby bottles and water bottles to keep them all straight — and the world has been beating a path to her door. She wants to use the Sharks’ money to take both OrbitLabels and MyDrinky to big-box retail stores.

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The Sharks are stunned: Why on Earth would she want to derail a wildly successful online business to compete in the ferocious world of retail?

Apparently we’ll find out after the second DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL BREAK.

“I hate DrinkyPoo in retail,” Kevin says when we come back, making his feeling about MyDrinky clear. “That sucks! You give up half your margin.” He’s out. Cuban also hates her lack of focus. He’s out.

“The beauty of the juice box is it’s one step,” Barbara says. “You took a simple thing every mom loves, and made it hard.” She’s out.

“You’re going to make it,” Lori thinks, but her surety isn’t backed by cash. “I wish you the best, but I’m out.”

O’Leary, though, is still in. In for $400,000, with$1.00 royalty in return on every product until he gets $1.2 million, and then a five percent equity stake to keep him interested. As part of negotiating, she tries to tempt him with talk of a big-box retail purchase order currently in negotiations. Worst. Possible. Move.

“You’re going to take all my capital, and tie it into inventory, and it’s going to be tied up for 90 to 120 days.” Kevin adds a contingency to the offer: Feldman can’t try and take the product into retail.

“This is a critical moment,” Lori says: Feldman either gets the Shark investment she wants, or grabs the brass ring of seeing her products on retail shelves across the country. What will she do?

Swim or Chum? She won’t walk away from the big-box deal. “Then I have to say it,” says Kevin. “You’re dead to me, Brenda.” CHUM.

Should You Buy? OrbitLabels have been selling like hotcakes for years, and I can see the utility, but I usually just say “DON’T SQUEEZE IT” as the kid is reaching for the juice box. When it comes to MyDrinky, you SHOULD NOT BUY.

About Ty Schalter

Ty Schalter is thrilled to be part of The Comeback. A member of the Pro Football Writers of America, Ty also works as an NFL columnist for Bleacher Report and VICE Sports, and regular host for Sirius XM’s Bleacher Report Radio. In another life, he was an IT cubicle drone with a pretentious Detroit Lions blog.

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