Pop CultureBy Tim Ryan on

Sports and fashion are two explosive worlds that have increasingly embraced one another with each passing week. The blossoming romance is akin to the unbreakable bond between Jordan and Pippen. They go hand in hand. It works for the player, it works for the brands, and most of the time it even works for the fans.

What true naturals like Joe Namath thought was simply “lookin’ smooth” has turned into a giant publicity spectacle, which often leads to various endorsements from brands looking to move that all-important needle. And that’s when things inevitably snowball into an attention-forced abyss, like Von Miller’s furriest choices in headgear, or Dwyane Wade wearing a self-branded eye-stickie.

Remember this one? Oh, how quickly we forget such utter ridiculousness.

Dwyane Wade eye stickie

But then there’s all of those reliable fans, who — while always clamoring for the camera — never bow to the whims of snooty, highbrow fashionistas. What they do bring is a unique, expressive element of their own choosing, and one that usually coincides with just how bad or good their team is performing.

And that — coupled with athletes, media personalities, and even spirited mascots — is what this very space is here to embrace. This week’s edition serves as a fond farewell to football.

*****

Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant Jedi

This may be the only time I’ll ever say this about the black turtleneck/black jacket combo, but I believe Kobe Bryant has earned the right to dress up as a Jedi.

Helpful Hint: If we see this trend spread to the likes of, well, anyone in broadcasting the comment above will be harshly RESCINDED.

*****

Papa John!

Ditching that beautiful, signature red Papa John polo for a Broncos shirt says everything you need to know about this sacred friendship. Because I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen Papa John in anything but a Papa John’s red button down.

Helpful Hint: Jumping up to first in the kissing line was just wrong. Having said that, I’d love to see Papa John Schnatter working his magic around midnight during a wild wedding reception.

*****

Jim Nantz

Jim Nantz dab Super Bowl 50

There’s no doubt in my mind Jim Nantz was trolling the Broncos in this Steelers shout-out of a suit which, frankly, I found to be pretty immature. Whatever it was, he’s basically channeling a game show host here. An exceedingly happy, possibly unnerving game show host. (Ed note: Tim, it was a gold tie for the Super Bowl’s 50th anniversary, and it was…golden.)

Helpful Hint: Actually, nothing to add here, other than a sincere thank you for FINALLY killing “the Dab.” Someone had do it. And it’s definitely dead now.

Jim Nantz dab Von Miller

*****

Bob Plager?

Sure, Bob Plager! He’s a retired NHL defenseman who played 14 seasons. While that’s great and all, he’s HERE for the outrageous old school Batman suit, complete with matching tie.

Helpful Hint: If I really want to be critical, I’d say the button-down was a pretty bad choice. But I don’t care, now I know what I’m wearing for Halloween.

*****

Don Cherry

Don Cherry celebrated his birthday over this past week and did so by wearing a suit with… goal sirens all over it? Of COURSE he did. He’s Don f”ing Cherry. So happy birthday, sir. No one could possibly discuss sports fashion without including you.

*****

Jason Whitlock

Jason Whitlock fashion

I like what Whitlock’s going for here with the jacket and vest look, but if he doesn’t send that light-blue checkered button-down directly through a wood chipper, I’d be more than happy to do it for him.

Helpful Hint: That does not mean to go shirtless when going with this approach. This is crucial to know.

*****

Derrick Rose & Son

Check out P.J. Rose! Not only did he just vault himself into the mix for sports photo of the year, he did so in style. The little dude is just three-years-old and he already has a more fashionable jacket than 90% of society.

Game. Set. P.J.

*****

Julius Randle

I suppose this is the Lakers “artistic” way of telling us it’s a bit chilly out? As usual, everything’s ruined by leaning on the strength of an emoji or two.

Helpful Hint: Please keep all photos in color so we can get a proper look at the attire. Thanks much.

*****

Panthers Fans

https://twitter.com/longj19/status/696128678103748608

Official Grades:

A+, for busting out the old school championship sweatshirt.

F-, for lack of exuberance.

*****

Clyde Frazier, Part I

Spoiler Alert: The Knicks play quite frequently, so it would be wrong to pepper this thread with a slew of Clyde Frazier outfits, but boy oh boy did he deliver the goods this week. And really, that could mean great things or very bad things. In this case, it’s the latter. This ensemble looks like an old couch from the set of a 1970s sitcom. It’s hypnotizing.

Helpful Hint: Move up a couple decades and steal something from the set of Seinfeld.

*****

Clyde Frazier, Part II

Did I tell you or did I tell you? This jacket looks like it’s paying homage to some unknown video game. I don’t care if it’s three hours long, MSG needs to give us a full tour of Clyde Frazier’s closet and allow fans to vote on which five jackets he needs to give away to charity. I would certainly nominate this one. Then again, with a red tie, this would make for a lot of fun on Christmas.

Helpful Hint: Come on, Clyde. Reel it back in just a tad. I say this only because I care.

*****

Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning and stylish will never be synonymous with one another, and I highly doubt he cares. But a button-down and sweater zip-up is about as wild and crazy as it gets for both him and Eli.

Helpful Hint: When you finally announce your retirement, shock the world by wearing Andre the Giant’s storied Tarzan trunks.

*****

Bennie Fowler!

Between the hat, the gold chain, and the Jordan sweatshirt, Bennie Fowler miraculously comes away as one of this week’s winners. And that’s partly because he looks so damn comfortable and relaxed in the ensemble.

Helpful Hint: Please gift that hat to Pey-Pey along with the football.

*****

Kobe & Paul George

Kobe Bryant giving away Mamba gifts and doing so in runway style. He may not shooting well, but the man can light up a room like few others.

Helpful Hint: Please tell me where you got that scarf. I don’t care much it cost, just tell me. #TeamScarf

*****

Eddie George

Eddie’s been taking too many fashion cues from Sway. Or maybe that was the point here.

Helpful Hint: In any case, stop doing that.

*****

Russell Westbrook

Russ lookin’ laid back, happy, and dressed down for a change. Someone take a picture of this tweet in case it disappears and we lose this rare moment.

Helpful Hint: Don’t get too comfortable with this. We’ve all become too accustomed to the wide variety of “Russ Being Russ” looks.

*****

Cam Newton

https://twitter.com/Kroeger/status/697125990624010240

No, there will not be any discussion of Cam’s postgame interview. We’re here to talk about Cam’s Starter jacket. That thing is so badass I’d wear it in a heartbeat, no matter the occasion. I might even send one to Clyde Frazier so as to turn down the volume a bit.

Helpful Hint: Please enjoy an offseason AWAY from the media.

*****

Shaq

Sure, it’s from 1993, but this is one of those “what if social media existed” moments. Shaq was far ahead of his time and, dare I say, just as flashy as Cam.

Helpful Hint: Shaq must wear this at least once on the NBA On TNT panel. The banter alone between he, Kenny, and Chuck would be worth the price of admission.

*****

Broncos Fans

Official Grades:

A+, for skipping school and another A+ for scoring an autograph on the hat.

This kid is a living legend at school now. A legend who’s probably serving detention if his teacher has an internet connection.

*****

Wade Philips

The NFL season is over and this is just too good not to include. I also like how Wade Philips is quoting Wade Philips within Wade Philips’ own tweet. That’s something only a true diva would do, so it turns out this actually does qualify for the fashion roundup.

*****

Chris Berman

Here’s your obligatory Chris Berman all sweaty and a little scary photo.

Or shall I say photos. Jeeeeeeesus man, I know it gets hot under the lights, but you gotta clean yourself up for those live spots.

Helpful Hint: Bring a Gatorade cooler to dump over your head along with a huge bag of towels for every road trip.

Previous installments of this weekly feature from freelance writer Tim Ryan can be found right here.

About Tim Ryan

Freelance Writer, Editor, Humorist, and Fashion Critic. Currently in heated negotiations over the rights to Jack Sikma's striking perm and an authentic mold of Chris Sabo's goggles.

View all posts by Tim Ryan