Top Chef Review: Restaurant Wars, Part 2 is more concentrated than pickle juice

When Top Chef left us last week, Restaurant Wars part 1 covered lunch of the “lunch and dinner” challenge, with each cheftestant taking a turn of being either the executive chef or front of the house for one of the services. Nobody can hide.

To recap: Jeremy screwed over his guests to take care of the judges for District LA, not even getting to feed some of the lunch-goers. Not very soigné, Jeremy.

Palate played it a little safe, but their service for lunch was solid.

For the evening, Palate goes with Karen as the front of the house and Carl as the executive chef, with Marjorie on cold stuff and Isaac on hot. Nobody believed Isaac would succeed on lunch, and the Cajun cook showed he can refine-it-up with a strong service, carrying the water for the gray team through the first challenge. And, literally, in the second.

Meanwhile, the orange team is STILL. SERVING. LUNCH.

By this point it’s probably two o’clock. Though through the magic of television this could have been taped at 10 a.m. for all we know. For dinner, Phillip will handle the front of the house while Amar will handle the cheffing. Jeremy and Kwame are line cooks. Phillip looks excited to get back on track, saying they need to “kill it” at dinner.

No raw preparations for District, it seems. (Get it? Kill..it.)

Tom shows up to totally screw with the chefs between service, telling them the dishes were too safe and they get the age-old reminder that it’s “Top Chef,” so top it the hell up, chefs.

Carl runs down the Palate menu, with an oxtail and tripe dish he and Karen are making, a snapper crudo that’s his, Isaac has the braised lamb, Karen has a stuffed trout and Marjorie is making desserts, including as Carl calls it, “a really sexy berry champagne soup,” which illustrates just how overused the term sexy is in the culinary world.

I’m not a prude, and I’m not trying to suggest that “sexy” things have to be related to “sex” but the overuse of the word “sexy” in food is frustrating. Maybe that’s just me being a writer and not a chef, and I’d rather have my chefs cook good food and call it something stupid than come up with a great name for something and it tastes terrible. That’s probably why the word soigné exists.

Here is the District LA menu. It’s…extensive.

Kwame’s beet-cured Hamachi is an amuse bouche, which is a great idea in theory, but a total waste of effort given they are 45 minutes behind after screwing up lunch. They probably should have cut that out to save time. Alas, Top Chef drama trumps good sense.

Amar is making gazpacho, Phillip is doing a strawberry salad that’s sure to be a crazy mess if you remember the issues in part 1 with how “composed” this composed salad needs to be while Phillip running the front of the house.

Jeremy is handling the risotto, Kwame is on chicken thighs and Amar is on the slow-braised pork belly, while Jeremy is also on the ribeye. That seems like a ton of food, and yet no dessert. And they have two hours to prep, not three because of the lunch debacle.

Kwame and Phillip fight, AGAIN, about combining the olive oil and the lemon juice for Phillip’s dish. This is probably going to be an issue later, as the producers are usually keen on setting up battles that end up being part of the judges table debate later on. So much time has been dedicated to olive oil and lemon juice that this has to be a red herring.

Speaking of fish, Karen is in the weeds on her fish dish, so she’s punted on talking to the servers. Marjorie, on the other hand, is making two desserts and bread, because Top Chef Restaurant Wars history be damned.

Phillip runs the front of the house for his two restaurants, so he tries to inspire his wait staff to be proud of what they’re doing. Phillip, they’re servers for a fake restaurant for one day, how proud can they get? Oh, this proud.

Karen is MIA on the front of the house, worrying about her dishes instead. The servers are nervous, so Marjorie steps up and shows the servers what to do. She should be safe just for that and, honestly, Karen should be sent home if service is bad.

Phillip, on the other hand, is teaching his servers how to pour, and telling them to explain to the guests to smash it all together to enjoy it.

Amar hops in and says, “don’t teach people how to eat,” to which Phillip quips back, “it’s best when enjoyed all together, you can say that. Don’t tell them to smash it.”

They’re laughing at you, Phillip, not with you.

Kwame hates Phillip’s dish, saying it’s too sweet. He suggests some salt, but Phillip says no. Jeremy is “in the shit.” (BLEEP) Maybe don’t screw up lunch next time, bro.

Back with Palate, Karen is a disaster, as she’s not even ready to handle the front of the house with half an hour before doors open. She hasn’t stuffed her trout, asking Isaac to stop his prep to do hers. Isaac has to stuff 75 trout, but he’s a gamer, so he says okay even though he’s screwed on his own dish.

Phillip is giving people a cocktail when they arrive, and some smug bastard in a blue shirt is complaining that there’s not enough alcohol in it.

It’s free, dude, and you’re about to eat a meal on television. In the ranking of worst people on television to actually have a meal with, I bet Top Chef contest winners or local big wigs is tops on that list. I would rather eat with the Lizard Lick Towing guys. I’d rather eat an actual lizard than eat with that guy, and the hundreds of other ‘that guys’ like that guy.

Meanwhile in the back, Amar calls for six risotto, which Jeremy asks if they can break up. It’s the first table! The answer is no, and Jeremy is in “survival mode, bro.”

The judges begin at Palate, where they will have one of everything. I love that formality. I really, really do. It’s adorable.

This…is less adorable. This is a $500 mixer hitting the deck.

Marjorie is struggling because she helped out at the front of the house, which is the lesson most chefs forget during Restaurant Wars: stay in your damn lane and let the others fail. Marjorie, by the way, loves her bread. So does everyone else. Good job on the bread, Midge! (Can I call her that? Are we at that level? Probably not.)

Carl and Karen combine on an oxtail and tripe dish. Padma isn’t a tripe fan but she thinks the dish is smart. Tom thought it was great.

Carl’s crudo dish wonderful, but Tom…well, Tom does this about getting yet another crudo.

Gail Simmons adds, “I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to make…wait for it…another crudo.”

Tom: “It’s the new pork belly.”

Back and District, the steaks are under done, and Phillip throws Amar under the bus more than Jeremy, who is the one actually cooking the steaks.

Back at Palate, as we are jumping around with frivolity now, the judges love what Karen is doing in the front of the house, so much that Tom suggests she trained the staff well. Of course, no love for Midge. (Promise, last time, especially because I looked it up and just found out that that’s a nickname for Margaret, not Marjorie. I’ll stick to talking about food, not nicknames.)  Back in the back, Isaac feels love for his lamb, but the trout is behind…and enormous.

Isaac made the braised lamb dish, which the judges love. Bill Chait, the guest judge, calls it the best piece of meat they’ve had so far in the day.

The trout (see, enormous) they hate, calling it a “misconceived” dish, which probably hurts Karen more than Isaac, who cooked Karen’s dish.

Carl is doing a great job expediting and they’re already on dessert for the judges at Palate. Marjorie made both desserts, which look delicious if a bit the same color palate (get it…it should be palette but the restaurant is called…ah hell, never mind.)

The judges like the cheese plate, but do not like the fizz in Marjorie’s dessert from the champagne.

On to District, where Padma says “hello, we have a reservation under Lakshmi” which is actually more adorable than asking for one of everything at the table. This is why we love this show.

Tom finds the notion that their table is ready but Phillip wants the judges to try a drink first abhorrent (just look at his face), until the host pulls out a bottle from his stand, which made all the judges laugh.

This is my new screen saver. (I love you, Tom.)

Phillip and Amar are on the same page, not letting the judges food stop everyone else’s service like Jeremy did for lunch. The amuse is first, by Kwame. It’s amusing just how small that is on such a huge plate.

“It’s horrible.” “Horrible.” “This is technique over substance. I know how to make foam, therefore I do it.” Gail calls the salt foam “sort of like spittle.” Also, this is my new screen saver.

Amar’s dish is first, and it’s an avocado gazpacho with crab. It looks wonderful.

Phillip’s strawberries and champagne is next, and that looks less wonderful. Tom suggests a dollop of ice cream to go with it because without the onions, it was a dessert, while Gail says it’s unseasoned and doesn’t make any sense. Kwame was right, after all.

“It felt stupid. It felt like it didn’t have any purpose.” That’s incredible, Gail. That comment is incredible in every right way.

As for Amar’s dish, Tom calls it ‘crab nachos’ which sounds delicious, and this dish, per the judges, was odd but good. Calling it crab nachos would have been better for Amar.

The judges rip Phillip for his front of the house skills, as the producers wonderfully cut to him showing guests his neck tattoos and going on and on about his two Los Angeles restaurants. (Note: not the one they are in currently.)

Tom gets the benefit of solid editing, as he says he’d bet anything Phillip was talking about his restaurants in LA, not this one. Boom.

In the back, Jeremy is “wore out right now” and he’s lagging, while Amar is pushing him to get the hustle going.

Kwame looks to rebound from a terrible amuse that had nobody smiling with a roasted Amish chicken thigh, while Jeremy went with his artichoke risotto that looks…artichokey. Gail calls it ‘gluey’ and they say it’s flavorless. He is going home, folks.

Kwame’s chicken was one note, and not very good.

For the next course, Amar did slow braised pork belly—if crudo is the new pork belly, what’s pork belly, Tom?—while Jeremy is back with a dry-aged ribeye and celery root puree that better be good because it’s about as boring as a dish can be in terms of creativity in food right now.

Padma, your thoughts on Amar’s dish?

“It’s more concentrated than pickle juice.”

Gail said it made her toes curl, but Tom saves it a little, suggesting the pork belly with the sauce isn’t as bad. The guests hate the vinegar too.

The steak is fine. “It’s not going to win a blue ribbon at the county fair,” Tom says, and the rest of the dish is just boring. He is going home, folks. Home home home. Combine one awful dish with one average dish with the terrible lunch service debacle and he should pack his knives before service is even over at dinner to save himself some time to say goodbye.

This meal has been so horrible from the orange team that Tom and Padma chide a server for trying to clear their plates while they’re talking about the dishes, leading to this glance from the server.

Now this is my new screensaver. Seriously, who has the nerve to look at Padma like that? This is shaping up to be the best Restaurant Wars ever, and as stated last week, Restaurant Wars is usually the worst episode of the season. Not this year. Congrats, Bravo!

Tom admits that someone is going home for making really bad food, but adds “here” which means the orange team at District is screwed.

At judges table, some great TV-14-L placement there guys. Top notch.

The judges said it was neck and neck after lunch, but the gray team swept dinner, with Palate taking the win.

Marjorie did a nice job overall, and they loved the bread. Karen they loved the service of dinner, which wasn’t so much her as it was Marjorie. They liked Carl’s food and applaud Isaac for his ability to run the kitchen and cook good food as well. The overall winner of Restaurant Wars, who will launch to the top of the rankings this week, is Isaac.

Wow, I thought it would be Marjorie, given how she cooked and helped Karen during dinner service, but the Cajun guy they all mocked at the start of Restaurant Wars—which felt like two weeks ago—is now the winner. Isaac, some thoughts?

This was his first win, and he hit his stride at just the right time.

The orange team is up, and Jeremy blames everyone else for his lunch issues, before Tom says lunch wasn’t really the issue as much as dinner. Is that going to save Jeremy, because we know the chef and front of house are always the ones to go, and if dinner was the disaster, Phillip and Amar are in trouble.

They lambast Phillip for his hackneyed cocktail gimmick, to which Phillip retorts, “Well I’m glad I’m not being judged on the cocktail.”

WHOOPS.

The judges hammer him for this, questioning why in the world he thinks he’s not being judged on the cocktail when, one, he made it and, two, he was front of the house at the time!

“Oh, sorry that you didn’t like it.”

The front of the house felt “forced” and lacked subtlety. The amuse “wasn’t very amusing,” says Tom, which now makes me wish I hadn’t make the joke myself.

They let Amar a bit off the hook for his dish because at least it tasted good, before Gail took Phillip down for his strawberry plate. They all seemed to hate that dish, perhaps the most of all the dishes.

And then came Jeremy, who cooked his risotto in water, which everyone at home knows not to do. It was flavorless, and Tom said that they’ve had a lot of bad risottos on Top Chef, but “this could go down as one of the worst.” Yikes.

Amar didn’t taste the risotto, despite being the executive chef. That’s a horrible idea, which everyone at home knows not to do.

During the judges deliberation they talk about how Jeremy’s lunch plate was good, and though the service was a disaster, his gamble may have paid off, because they don’t once mention how he screwed up the lunch service for his other guests at all. Now it’s looking really bad for Phillip.

Amar is on the cutting block for his lack of leadership, but Tom buries Phillip for having two bad dishes and doing a poor job running the front of the house. I am shocked that Jeremy isn’t in the bottom two. Shocked, and it reminds the viewers that the judges never see the same stuff that we do, and a lot of the show is just for the drama, not for the judging.

Back from break, Tom chides the orange team for working as four cooks, not as a team of chefs, before Padma finally sends Phillip home. He is, as no one who has watched this season should doubt, “very surprised.”

There are times where chefs come on the show and showcase themselves well, even if their food falters and they get sent home. The goal of going on Top Chef is to become a famous chef, in hopes the exposure turns your career in to something bigger than it is, be it more business for your restaurants, a better job at someone else’s restaurant, or future television opportunities.

Sometimes, like in Phillip’s case, the producers can bury you. There’s no way Phillip is as annoying and out-of-touch as he was shown to be on this season. Or, perhaps, he’s the worst, and they edited the show the best they could despite that. Because, again, editing or not, this happened during Restaurant Wars dinner service.

One of those.

“Tastes are subjective,” Phillip gives as his excuse for why he should have been saved, in a weak defense of why they didn’t like his strawberry salad. He then throws Jeremy’s risotto under the bus (which may have given it more flavor, to be honest) before the knife-packing montage begins.

Yeah, he’s pretty much the worst.

Top Chef Rankings:

1. Isaac – Winning Restaurant Wars vaults him to the top.
2. Marjorie – she’ll make bread all the way to the finale in Vegas.
3. Carl – it seems like which haven’t scratched the surface with him yet.
4. Karen – this was not her best service, but her team won and her non-trout dishes seemed good.
5. Kwame – Only ahead of Amar because Amar was in the bottom two this week, but Kwame needs to step up his game at the risk of peaking too soon.
6. Amar – He seemed like one of the strongest chefs, but his dinner service was awful.
7. Jeremy – It’s a shock he wasn’t sent home this week with his disastrous lunch service, missing several plates after time expired and two bad dishes at dinner.