Ryan Lochte has been in the news for all the wrong reasons after reportedly lying about getting robbed in Brazil during the Rio 2016 Olympics. Every six hours or so during the past few days, Lochte’s story about getting robbed at gunpoint with three USA swimmer teammates has changed.

At this point, it’s probably best to just make light of it. All that’s left to do is laugh. In that spirit, Slate put together what it imagined his interrogation by Rio police must have been like. The spoof video features cameos from fictional detectives and interrogators grilling Lochte, such as Rust Cohle from True Detective, Batman from The Dark Knight, Aldo Raine from Inglourious Basterds, Agent Smith from The Matrix and more.

What’s great about the video is the swimmer’s real life quotes. Sure, they’re taken completely out of context. But at some point in time, Lochte said the following during interviews.

“What defines me? Ryan Lochte.”

“The reason I love swimming is because racing.”

“I’m in a relationship and it’s the water.”

“It is OK to pee in the pool.”

I doubt any of the expert interrogators were able to get anything from Lochte. He’s too tough to crack under pressure. Intentionally or not, Lochte’s responses likely just perplexed them and made them want to give up having a conversation with him entirely.

Lochte is not the sharpest tool in the shed, which would make seeing his real interrogation incredible. Is it too much to hope that the video of his interview with police might ever leak out?


About Liam McGuire

Social +Staff writer for The Comeback & Awful Announcing. Liammcguirejournalism@gmail.com