It’s Friday, thankfully. Less thankfully, not many things are happening in sports. Nevertheless, let’s go for it!


Jon Gruden won’t let the fire die

Jon Gruden says he’s thinking of returning to coaching, which means we just can’t let that possibility die just yet.

Gruden spoke with Pewter Report ahead of going in the Bucs Ring of Honor and he opened up about past flirtations with returning to coaching and keeping his coaching edge. The former coach gave a fantastic quote about how the research for his ESPN job is preparing him for a potential return to the sidelines.

“I’ve met with several people – I won’t deny that,” Gruden said. “People – just about every year I talk about coming back to coach. I’m not in here every day at 4:30 or 4:00 in the morning watching pinball. You know? I’m preparing myself to come back. I am. Every day. I’m preparing to come back.

“It helps me in my broadcasting and I think if you lose that edge … you can’t come back unless you are totally wired with college football, personnel, schemes, the CBA, how people are practicing, trends, you know. You’ve got stay on top of this stuff.”

Gruden is still just 53, but at this point, don’t we have to just accept that he’s not going back to coaching? Obviously there’s money in it for him to keep his name in the rumor mill; that provides tremendous leverage for him, not that he needs it at this point. But at this point Gruden seems more likely to go the Bill Cowher route and remain on TV as long as they’ll let him.

Quick hits

-The Nationals are doing some amazing things on the field, holding a commanding 12.5 game lead in the NL East and nearly a 100% chance at the playoffs according to the best estimates. Still, it’s what one of their affiliates announced off the field that has me the most excited: a George Costanza theme night.

Any fan showing up for the game with the last name of Costanza or Vandeley will receive a free ticket to the grandstand, while anyone with the name of Lloyd Braun will be charged a $5 service fee. Fans with a hairstyle similar to George (a bald head with a horseshoe pattern) will also get a $5 grandstand ticket. The same promotion is good for any marine biologists.

Here are a few more Seinfeld-related promotions for the game: shrimp cocktail eating contest, on-field Frogger race, anyone donating a stained white sweater will be given a discount in the team store (the stains will be removed before the sweaters are donated), and o ne lucky fan will be chosen at random to receive exclusive access to the team’s front office executive bathroom.

Players should run the opposite way around the bases.

-SI fell for a fake Chip Kelly rumor, and the post was up for at least an hour before they noticed. Look for the checkmark, people! (Unless you’re looking at my Twitter, which is unverified, but know that I’m quite trustworthy when it comes to college coaching rumors, in that I know absolutely nothing.)

-This was a really interesting read on the Department of Energy from Moneyball author Michael Lewis.

-OJ Simpson isn’t allowed onto the USC campus, for many, many obvious reasons.

-The Lakers reiterated their hopes to sign multiple max-level contract players next summer, which they haven’t exactly been coy about so far.

-Big 12 football players reported in a survey that they’ve been subject to racial or ethnic-based taunts. This is also probably not a surprise.

-Jeff Bezos is now the world’s wealthiest person, which probably shouldn’t be a surprise, especially if you’ve tried to use Microsoft products lately.

Fake news headline I wish were real

Lightning Bug Colliding With Windshield Ruins Nighttime Drive For Entire Family

One last glorious moment of procrastination

I laughed way, way too hard at this:

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.